Disenfranchised grief

Examples of events that may lead to disenfranchised grief include: • deaths among distant, disapproved, or unrecognized relationships: • the death of a friend, co-worker, or patient • the death of an ex-spouse or a partner in an extramarital affair • the death of a pet • deaths under socially difficult circumstances: • the death of a loved one due to suicide or murder • a death due to socially stigmatized cause, such as HIV/AIDS, drug addiction, or lung cancer • the loss of a home or place of residence • the loss of a job == Disenfranchised grievers ==

Sometimes, people believe that a particular person is not capable of grieving. This commonly happens with very young children and disabled people. and it makes bereavement even more difficult. Loss of an ex-spouse is disenfranchised due to the lack of a current personal relationship between the former couple. Although the marriage has ended, the relationship has not, and there are ties between the two people that will forever be there, including shared children, mutual friendships, and financial connections. Research has shown that those couples who never resolved conflicts after the relationship ended experienced much more grief than those who had. The grievers experience guilt and thoughts of "what might have been" similar to those of widows. Loss of a child by adoption is often disenfranchised, because the decision to give a child up for adoption is voluntary and therefore it is not socially acceptable to grieve. Birth mothers lack support, and are expected to just move on and pretend the child does not exist. Many birth mothers experience regret and have thoughts of what might have been or of reuniting with the child. ==Relationships==

Many types of relationships are not legitimized by society; therefore when one person in the relationship dies, the other may not have their grief legitimized and the grief becomes disenfranchised. Following the death of a partner in a homosexual relationship, societal support tends to prioritize the immediate family, invalidating the significance of the romantic relationship and loss for the grieving partner (McNutt & Yakushko, 2013). Another example may be a former partner, such as the death of an ex-spouse. The death of an ex-spouse does not typically receive the same recognition as the death of a current spouse. Another type of relationship is one in which the griever and the person who died did not necessarily have a close personal relationship. This relationship may include coworkers, doctor and nurse relationships with patients, or even people that the griever does not know personally at all, such as celebrities. Relationships formed online are often not recognized or validated by society, for example where friendships are made through online games and social media. However, when one person dies, the griever will often experience disenfranchised grief (Doka, 1989). ==Responses==

There are many models for dealing with grief. The Kübler-Ross model describes grieving in five steps or stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (Kübler-Ross, 1969). In other words, in order to begin grieving, one must first endorse the loss, and then express emotion. The griever must then accept the loss and adjust to the change the death or loss caused in his or her life (Cordaro, 2012). Over the years, however, how grief is conceptualized has moved away from predictable stages that lead to 'recovery' or 'closure', towards an understanding of grief that addresses the complexity and diversity of the grieving experience (Australian Psychological Society, 2016). Models such as Worden's tasks of grief (2008) and the dual-process model (Stroebe and Schutt, 1999) offer frameworks for dealing with grief in a way that enhances the self awareness of the grieving person (Australian Psychological Society, 2016). Disenfranchised grief presents some complications that are not always present in other grieving processes. First, there are usually intensified reactions to death or loss. For example, the griever may become more depressed or angry due to not being able to fully express their grief. Secondly, disenfranchised grief means society does not recognize the death or loss; therefore, the griever does not receive strong social support and may be isolated. As disenfranchised grief is not legitimized by others, the bereaved person may be denied access to rituals, ceremonies, or the right to express their thoughts and emotions (McKissock & McKissock, 1998). When supporting someone through disenfranchised grief it is important to acknowledge and validate their loss and grief (McKissock & McKissock, 1998). ==See also==