Betrothal (also called "espousal") is a formal state of engagement to be
married. Typical steps of a match were the following: • Negotiation of a match, usually done by the couple's families with bride and groom having varying levels of input, from no input, to veto power, to a fuller voice in the selection of marriage partner. • This is not as widely practiced as it was historically, although it is still common in culturally conservative communities in
Israel,
India, Africa, and
Arab states of the Persian Gulf, although most of these have a requirement that the bride be at least allowed veto power. • Negotiation of
bride price or
dowry • In most cultures evolved from Europe, bride prices or dowries have been reduced to the
engagement ring accompanying the marriage contract, while in other cultures, such as those on the Arabian Peninsula, they are still part of negotiating a marriage contract. • Blessing by the parents and
clergy • Exchange of vows and signing of contracts • Often one of these is omitted • Celebration and Myrtle Gruenert, 1906 The exact duration of a betrothal varies according to culture and the participants’ needs and wishes. For adults, it may be anywhere from several hours (when the betrothal is incorporated into the wedding day itself) to a period of several years. A year and a day are common in
neo-pagan groups today. In the case of
child marriage, betrothal might last from infancy until the age of marriage. The responsibilities and privileges of betrothal vary. In most cultures, the betrothed couple is expected to spend much time together, learning about each other. In some historical cultures (including
colonial North America), the betrothal was essentially a trial marriage, with marriage only being required in cases of conception of a child. Almost all cultures are loosening restrictions against physical contact between partners, even in cultures that normally had strong prohibitions against it. The betrothal period was also considered to be a preparatory time, in which the groom built a house, started a business or otherwise proved his readiness to enter adult society. In
medieval Europe, in
canon law, a betrothal could be formed by the exchange of
vows in the future tense ("I
will take you as my wife/husband", instead of "I take you as my wife/husband"), but sexual intercourse consummated the vows, making a binding marriage rather than a betrothal. Although these betrothals could be concluded with only the vows spoken by the couple, they had legal implications:
Richard III of England had his
older brother's children declared illegitimate on the grounds their father had been betrothed to another woman when he married their mother. A betrothal is considered to be a "semi-binding" contract. Normal reasons for invalidation of a betrothal include: • Revelation of a prior commitment or marriage • Evidence of
infidelity • Failure to conceive (in "trial marriage" cultures) • Failure of either party to meet the financial and property stipulations of the betrothal contract Normally, either party can break a betrothal, though in certain traditions, a financial penalty (such as forfeit of the bride price) applies. In some
common law countries, including England and Wales and many US states, it was once possible for the spurned partner (often only the woman) to sue the other for
breach of promise or "heart-balm". This provided some protection in an age where virginity at marriage was considered important and having a failed engagement could damage one's reputation, but this
tort has become obsolete in most jurisdictions as attitudes to premarital sex have softened and emphasis shifted to allowing people to leave loveless relationships.
Judaism In
Jewish weddings during Talmudic times (c.1st century BC – 6th century AD), the two ceremonies of betrothal (
erusin) and wedding usually took place up to a year apart; the bride lived with her parents until the actual marriage ceremony (
nissuin), which would take place in a room or tent that the groom had set up for her. Since the Middle Ages the two ceremonies have taken place as a combined ceremony performed in public. The
betrothal is now generally part of the
Jewish wedding ceremony, accomplished when the groom gives the bride the ring or another object of at least nominal value. As mentioned above, betrothal in Judaism is separate from engagement; breaking a betrothal requires a formal
divorce, and violation of betrothal is considered
adultery.
Christianity and the
Virgin Mary In most localities, the Rite of Betrothal (also known as "blessing an engaged couple" or "declaration of intention") as a precursor to Holy Matrimony is an optional practice in traditional forms of
Christianity today that blesses and ratifies the intention of two Christians to marry one another. Betrothed couples are regarded legally as husband and wife – even before their wedding and
physical union. The concept of an official engagement period in Western European culture may have begun in 1215 at the Fourth Lateran Council, headed by Pope Innocent III, which decreed that "marriages are to be ... announced publicly in the churches by the priests during a suitable and fixed time so that, if legitimate impediments exist, they may be made known." Such a formal church announcement of the intent to marry is known as banns. In some jurisdictions, reading the banns may be part of one type of legal marriage.
Protestant Churches The
Lutheran book of
Liturgical Forms includes the "Form and Manner of Betrothal in Church", which can take place in the church or alternatively, in the house of the bride. This rite can be found throughout history, such as in early Lutheran liturgical texts, the Stasbourg C.O. 1604 being an example. depicting a betrothal.
Musée Condé,
Chantilly. ==Engagement rings==