Depending on the individual, breakups can be stressful, unpleasant, and traumatic events. Both parties could feel a large number of negative effects as a result of the relationship's dissolution, and these events often gain the reputation for being some of the worst events in people's lives. These could include psychological distress symptoms, grief reactions, an overall decline in psychological well-being, and potential stalking behaviors. Individuals often work hard to keep their relationships intact because of how significantly distressing and problematic these negative effects can be, even in the face of potential complications in their relationship, for as long as they can bear it.
Negative effects Psychological distress symptoms Individuals who had just recently experienced the dissolution of a romantic relationship reported several symptoms of acute
psychological distress. These included flashback and intrusive memories associated with their partner, often triggered by important dates associated with either the relationship or the breakup. These intrusive distress symptoms manifested in various ways for both the individual who initiated the breakup and their partner, such as being reminded of certain aspects of their behavior or their preferences. Another set of psychological distress symptoms that were reported by individuals who had experienced a romantic relationship breakup fell under the category of avoidance behavior. Being without their partner causes their self-concept to shift as they struggle through emotional distress. This involves an active attempt at denying or ignoring the circumstances of the current situation, or those that led to the dissolution of the relationship. In relation to this, individuals also noted feeling numb and uninterested with the world around them because of the breakup. This results in individuals undergoing a breakup displaying grief reactions that include symptoms like sleeplessness, depression, and
suicidal thoughts. This tendency to express grief and depression is so prevalent that researchers point to it being a significant contributor to the first onset of major depressive disorder in young adults. This behavior stems from an unhappiness with the circumstances following the dissolution of the relationship, as well as a misguided belief that the stalking behavior may result in the reforming of the relationship. There is no clear definition of stalking behavior that differentiate it from socially acceptable activities; they become more sinister when they are unwanted and form a persistent pattern.
Stress-related growth Individuals that are placed under stressful situations are often faced with an opportunity for growth and development as a result of this stress. Without this push to improve, individuals are often pushed towards complacency and refuse to make the necessary efforts to progress through life. Different ways in which people have exhibited growth following a stressful life event include improvements to the way a person views themselves, the way they connect with other people around them, or their overall approach to life. Research shows that breakups are highly representative of this type of stressful situation, as individuals experience them several times throughout their lives and have been known to self-report instances of growth because of the experience. There is a high likelihood that these individuals were the one who initiated the breakup in the first place, but research has shown that there have been cases where individuals that have been victims of a breakup recognize that their past relationship was sub-optimal, which allows them to display the same emotions of relief, freedom, and happiness.
Mitigating factors While individuals that have experienced a breakup are likely to experience a number of different positive and negative effects once the relationship has run its course, different people can expect these to manifest in varying degrees. This is because there are several mitigating factors that can either minimize or amplify the extent to which one feels the consequences of a breakup. The list of potential factors that have been shown to moderate the effects that an individual might feel are categorized and listed below: • Relationship quality • Duration of relationship – longer relationships are more likely to be more painful after the breakup • Admission of love for ex-partner – relationships that report to be filled with love may exacerbate the consequences that victims feel following a breakup • Satisfaction levels of both parties – relationships that report both parties feeling satisfied are more likely to suffer during breakups • Level of investment in maintaining the relationship – high levels of relationship investment translate to a much larger loss caused by the dissolution of the
romantic relationship • Proportion of positive and negative relationship memories – individuals that had a high number of positive relationship memories were less negatively affected by the breakup when compared to those that would constantly dredge up negative memories of their ex-partner • Romantic situation following breakup • Ease of finding an alternative partner – being able to find a new partner immediately following a breakup allowed the individual to better weather the negative emotions and problems associated with the dissolution of a romantic relationship • Willingness to begin a new relationship – an openness to the formation of a new relationship was shown to translate to a lower level of victimization and negative consequences after a breakup • Circumstances of the breakup • Initiator of the dissolution of the relationship – while both the initiator and the victim were shown to experience consequences following the breakup, the former displayed less of these symptoms and in some cases experienced positive effects because the relationship ended • Certainty of the reasons for the breakup – being unsure about the initiator's reasons for breaking up caused higher levels of anxiety and other stress symptoms in the victim, while achieving closure was an important step for most individuals seeking to move on from a breakup • Characteristics of the participants • Hardiness – individuals that displayed above average levels of hardiness were unfazed by the dissolution of their romantic relationship and were less likely to be bothered by its consequences •
Attachment styles can play a big role in why a breakup occurs in the first place. Attachment styles define the expectations an individual has when in a relationship based on the relationship they had with their caregivers during childhood. The four attachment styles are Avoidant Attachment ( which is characterized by avoiding communication and withdrawing), Anxious / Ambivalent Attachment ( which is characterized by fear that a partner will not reciprocate the same love that the individual gives), Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment (which is characterized by a fear of relationships and attempts to avoid them even while craving love and intimacy), and Secure Attachment (which is the style that is characterized by strong, healthy relationships). These attachment styles can affect the behavior of one partner towards another and different attachment styles can clash. For instance, if one partner has an avoidant attachment and dates someone with a secure attachment style, the two partners may clash due to a lack of communication and several misunderstandings as these attachment styles come with expectations that are acted out in behavior that can eventually lead to a breakup. • Self-esteem levels – high levels of self-esteem allow people to be less stressed during the dissolution of a relationship and alleviate the most severe negative consequences • Mental health – individuals that display lower levels of mental health and
substance abuse have reported magnified consequence levels when going through the breakup process • Self-complexity – people that exhibit a complex self-image, which references an ability to perceive oneself as more than just who they are in their romantic relationship, are less likely to be debilitated by the consequences of a breakup • Sex – several studies observed that females on average exhibited larger negative symptoms during the breakup process • Implementation of coping strategies • Distancing – avoiding the problem has been observed to translate to negative coping outcomes and a worsening of the consequences reported by the victim, while a willingness to confront the matter and engage in problem-solving has shown overall mitigative effects to breakup consequences • Benefit-finding – the willingness to objectively assess the relationship, as well as an ability to find benefits that resulted from its ending allowed victims to display less stress symptoms during the breakup • Perceived social support – individuals that felt like people in their social group were on their side and would support them during this stressful time reported being less affected by the breakup and loss of a romantic relationship == Online breakups ==