Pantoliano was married to Morgan Kester from 1979 until they divorced in 1985. He married his second wife, former model Nancy Sheppard, in 1994; they have four children together, and reside in
Wilton, Connecticut. He was introduced to Sheppard by actress
Samantha Phillips. During his tenure on
The Sopranos, Pantoliano struggled to stay anonymous in his native
New Jersey; when filming his scenes as Ralph, he prevented the public from recognizing him by wearing a wig based on the hairstyle of filmmaker
Christopher Nolan, who had previously directed him in
Memento. Pantoliano’s use of a wig was later alluded to in the show, with a reveal that his character also wore a wig. On October 9, 2007, Pantoliano announced on the
National Alliance on Mental Illness blog that he had been suffering from
clinical depression for the past decade, although he was formally diagnosed only recently. He also has
dyslexia. He said his 2006 film
Canvas helped him come to terms with his depression. Rather than hide his illness from the public, he chose to speak out about it to remove some of the
stigma commonly associated with mental illness. He founded a nonprofit organization called No Kidding, Me Too! which aims to unite members of the entertainment industry in educating the public about mental illness. The title comes from the response he frequently heard after revealing how mental illness affected him and his family. He directed, wrote, and starred in the documentary
No Kidding! Me 2!! (2009). Pantoliano is the author of two memoirs: ''Who's Sorry Now: The True Story of a Stand-Up Guy
and Asylum: Hollywood Tales From My Great Depression: Brain Dis-Ease, Recovery, and Being My Mother's Son''. He revealed in the latter that he struggled with
alcoholism,
food addiction,
sex addiction, and addictions to
Vicodin and
Percocet before being diagnosed with clinical depression. On May 1, 2020, Pantoliano suffered a concussion and chest trauma when he was hit by a car while walking in his neighborhood. == Filmography ==