Main characters •
Ross Higgins as Edward "Ted" Melba Bullpitt, a
white Australian, conservative,
Holden Kingswood-loving putty factory worker and
WWII veteran. Immature and petty, Ted is also intolerant of
Catholics. During the
war, he was part of a kitchen unit captured by the
Italians, which explains his dislike for Bruno Bertolucci. He enjoys reading the comic
Mandrake, sitting in front of the television with his paper or a beer, and tending to his greyhounds, Gay Akubra and Repco Lad. Ted is known as "Big Bum Bullpitt" to the students and nuns at the local Catholic school St Joseph's. He is afraid of the
nuns, although he likes Sister Maria, because she also likes beer. According to Ted, he is a descendant of Lord Stokely Bullpitt of Kingswood who died in 1786 as he fell from his horse during a nun hunt. His only son was illegitimate so therefore could not claim his father's title. That son married an Italian kitchen maid named Maria Bertalucci – an ancestor of Bruno. The title was first bestowed by
Henry VIII to a man whom he gave a large section of his forest or the King's Wood, hence the title. •
Judi Farr as Thelma "Thel" Bullpitt, Ted's wife and the mother of Craig and Greta, who often answers the telephone with catchphrases in the hope of winning prizes from
TV Week or competition running on the radio. Thelma keeps a drawer full of old receipts to show Ted after buying expensive items from
Myer (she holds her fingers over the date and waves the receipt at him, showing a small purchase). Thelma gives very specific advice on how to perform everyday chores – for example, making coffee or tea, "You'll have to add hot water dear, otherwise it'll be a bit dry". At the end of the fourth series, Thelma leaves on an extended holiday which lasted until the end of the series. •
Peter Fisher as Craig Bullpitt, Ted's only son. He is a medical student who, later in the series, marries his girlfriend Wendy. • Laurel McGowan as Greta Bertolucci, née Bullpitt, Ted's only daughter who is married to Bruno Bertolucci. •
Lex Marinos as Bruno Bertolucci, Ted's son-in-law, who he refers to as "the
wog", and is married to Greta and was born (as was Marinos) in
"Wagga". He drives a purple
Chrysler Valiant, which is often a sore point with the
Holden-loving Ted. Bruno takes great delight in poking fun at Ted and calling him "Grumblebum" or "Teddles", but affectionately calls Thelma "Mrs B" and sympathises with her for having to put up with Ted. Towards the end of the series, Bruno becomes a recurring character. •
Shelia Kennelly as Rosa Bertolucci, a relative of Bruno's who looks after Ted when Thelma leaves on holiday. Appearing from the fifth series onwards, Rosa is fond of cooking, and describes herself as a "happy-go-lucky wog".
Recurring cast and characters •
Colin McEwan as Bob Bullpitt, Ted's younger brother, who is a used car salesman. Often referred to as a "bloody
Datsun dealer" by Ted. He has a love-hate relationship with both Ted and his own wife Merle and insults are often traded, though he does have a soft spot for Thelma. His trademark greeting is, "Hey-dee ho everybody, here comes the party!" which was usually followed by Merle saying "Shut up Bob!". Its insinuated that Bob is always having affairs with his latest secretary, including one who "suddenly had to move to
Melbourne". •
Maggie Dence as Merle Bullpitt, Ted's upwardly mobile sister-in-law, who is married to Ted's younger brother Bob. Merle dislikes her husband Bob (a feeling that is mutual), and dislikes Ted, often referring to him as a "cretin". She often insults them both, although she gets on well with her sister-in-law, Thelma, despite Thelma's vague nature. Bob and Merle do actually love each other despite their general dislike for each other. One of the reasons they stay together and even get re-married after accidentally getting divorced, is because everything that they own including the big items such as the house, the business, their money and the purple speedboat, is all in her name, a point Merle never lets Bob forget. ==Guest==