Main •
Allan "Seapa" Mustafa as Anthony "MC Grindah" Zografos (previously known as MC Sniper, pilot), the
MC and founder/leader of the
radio station. Grindah proclaims himself to be a musical genius, to the general indifference of Brentford and beyond, and struggles with the idea of anyone not liking garage music or realising his talent. He is childish and selfish, taking doting girlfriend/fiancée/wife Miche for granted and often bullying Beats into timidly agreeing with him. His posturing is frequently exposed, often resulting in his delusions being exposed. While easily frustrated and angered by a lack of recognition for his talent he is just as easily placated by any sort of positive recognition. He finally pushes Miche too far with his selfish behaviour at the end of Series 3, resulting in the pair briefly breaking up and Grindah becoming a hard drug addict. Grindah is eventually able to win her back after making only superficial changes to his behaviour (which he openly admits is to trick Miche into taking him back) and the pair marry at the end of Series 4. At the end of series 5 he is relocated outside of Brentford with Miche and Angel to
Essex when the block of flats is scheduled for demolition. • Hugo Chegwin as Kevin "DJ Beats" Bates, the principal
DJ. Beats is the best friend of Grindah but is often bullied by him, much to the frustration of his partner, Roche. Despite his largely one-way friendship with Grindah — who uniformly either attempts to top anything Beats says or put him down openly — he remains utterly devoted to his MC. However, while Beats is a big believer in Kurupt FM he is also devoted to the long-suffering Roche and with attempting to form some sort of bond with his stepson Craig, something he often has to balance with keeping Grindah happy. Beats is naïve and almost as deluded as Grindah but is generally a more amiable and balanced person. •
Asim Chaudhry as Chabud "Chabuddy G" Gul, a failed local entrepreneur. Confident and smooth-talking but deluded, his schemes usually bring trouble to the group. Chabuddy believes himself to be an entrepreneur, and over the course of the series tries many schemes — among them an internet cafe, attempting to market factory rejected peanuts as "Peanut Dust", printing questionable bootleg t-shirts, opening a club named the Champagne Steam Rooms (later briefly a restaurant) and managing Kurupt FM. All of these ventures largely end in disaster, and by the third series he is forced to live in the back of his van while taking on part-time work at an electronics store. His love-life is just as catastrophic — at the start of the series he is married to Aldona, a
Polish immigrant who overtly loathes him — which Chabuddy is either oblivious to or chooses to ignore out of desperation. She eventually robs him and leaves him for good, after which he desperately tries to land a new partner. His lack of social skills mean this is largely unsuccessful until he ends up in an emotionally damaging relationship with Miche's sexually aggressive mother Carol, which he eventually breaks off. At the end of the series he takes advantage of Steves' naivety to move into the flat and set up a cold-calling centre. • Steve Stamp as Steven "Steves" Green, an uncouth
drug addict and dull-witted
lovable loser. His nan originally owns the flat from which the station broadcasts. After she is moved into an old people's home Grindah moved Kurupt FM into the flat, and due to his drug-addled stupidity is taken advantage of by the rest of the group. Steves DJs on Kurupt but only on graveyard shifts or when Grindah and Beats are busy with other antics, but more often acts as station dogsbody, often being sent to steal items the group needs — for which he is never thanked, while his doormat personality and substance dependency mean Chabuddy also often takes advantage of him. Steves is also a big believer in conspiracy theories, and on occasion shows surprising perception and talent — such as being a surprisingly talented pianist. He is also very close to his grandmother — the only relative of his seen in the series — and is devastated when she dies at the end of Series 3, spiralling before convincing himself she has been reincarnated as Beats' daughter Robyn. At the end of Season 4 he is arrested at Kurupt due to both the presence of pirate radio equipment and his huge personal stash of drugs but escapes with probation. Despite the dire risks of further prosecution the group continues to use his flat as the base for Kurupt and have him run errands. • Dan Sylvester as Decoy, a level-headed DJ at the radio station. It is heavily implied that Decoy is the biological father of Miche's daughter Angel, a possibility to which Grindah remains completely oblivious. Decoy is non-confrontational and largely tries to keep out of the group's antics. He clearly has big reservations about the way Angel is being raised by Grindah and Miche but largely remains passive, though he reacted angrily to news of Angel moving to Essex. It seems that he is very popular with the ladies, and he frequently has to fend off the unsubtle advances of Carol. He is also frequently the target of Chabuddy's attempts at friendship. It is also heavily implied that the main reason Decoy spends so much time with Kurupt is to have a way of remaining close to Angel. • Lily Brazier as Michelle Louise "Miche" Zografos (née Coleman), Grindah's girlfriend and, later, wife. She works at a hair salon, and dreams of becoming a
celebrity. Miche is amiable but unintelligent, shown to be greatly influenced by social media and gossip magazines. She indulges Grindah, who she believes is the perfect man, and is an ardent believer in Kurupt FM. She is often let down when real life doesn't gel with her celebrity-tinged expectations but largely keeps cheerful and upbeat. At the end of Series 3 she finally loses patience with Grindah's selfishness and kicks him out, instead channelling most of her energy into trying to make Angel a celebrity with Miche as her "Mumager". However, she reconciles with Grindah and they marry at the end of Series 4 — though Miche is unable to pronounce "Zografos". In the final series she moves to Essex along with Grindah and Angel. •
Ruth Bratt as Roche, Beats' girlfriend, a security guard at a local cash and carry and former bouncer. Roche loves Beats but hates the radio station and despises Grindah. She has violent tendencies, being banned from working as a bouncer across the country due to an incident where a customer didn't have his ID and often seems to get excited at the chance to attack someone. This aside she is largely a balanced and sensible person, frequently being the most perceptive and worldly — for example, noting that Grindah and Miche are bad parents in a talking head. Roche tolerates Beats' bumbling side and her slovenly son Craig, and later she also develops a bond with Miche despite having vastly different personalities — even if she more pities Miche for her delusions. • George Keywood as Craig, Roche's son from a former marriage, in his late teens, he is mostly at home playing video games. Morbidly obese and spoilt by Roche, his habits include eating packets of sliced ham, masturbating and loudly playing
Call of Duty online into the small hours. Despite Craig's initial indifference to him, Beats is eventually able to bond with Craig. Despite his appearance and quiet personality, Craig has a surprising amount of success with women. In the final series he goes to university. • Olivia Jasmine Edwards as Angel Zografos, Miche's young daughter. Grindah treats Angel as his daughter, but it is implied she was fathered by Decoy — Grindah believes her darker skin is due to his
Cypriot heritage while Miche lamely offers that she was using a lot of spray tan during pregnancy. Angel is generally a sweet and happy child despite the neglect of both Grindah and Miche, who largely avoid parenting her. Miche especially treats Angel as a mere accessory, planning to earn a living off Angel's future fame (despite acknowledging that she doesn't really have any marketable talent) and trying sabotage any friends she makes at school out of jealousy. Due to Grindah usually not paying her much attention she seems to view Decoy as a father figure.
Recurring • Maria Louis as Aldona (series 1–2), Chabuddy's unloving wife from
Poland who frequently uses him for financial gain. Aldona openly despises Chabuddy apart from when she wants something out of him, and even then often struggles to hide her disgust with him. It is heavily implied she married him entirely for visa reasons, and when her apparent brother visits from Poland it is clear the two are in fact lovers — again something Chabuddy is oblivious to. She frequently runs away with his credit cards, and eventually leaves him for good in the second series — after stealing his prized
Mercedes van and the contents of his internet cafe, after which Chabuddy finally realises their relationship is over. • Marvin Jay Alvarez as DJ Fantasy, one of the DJs at Kurupt FM, though not usually involved with the shenanigans of the station. Fantasy "not being one of the main ones" is called out on occasion in dialogue. • Joel Tiddy as Weapon X (series 1–3), a DJ at Kurupt FM. He only appears in Series 1 and 3, after which Grindah makes references to him being in prison. •
Victoria Alcock as Carol (series 1–5), Miche's promiscuous and flirtatious mother. She considers Miche her best friend and hates both Grindah and Kurupt FM, believing Miche to be deserving of better. She has a high sex drive, frequently propositioning Decoy and often taking holidays abroad to take advantage of (much) younger men. After having sex with Chabuddy in a van at Grindah and Miche's wedding (after her attempts to seduce Decoy by mentioning her lack of a
gag reflex were unsuccessful) the pair briefly embark on a relationship, which largely consists of Carol terrorising Chabuddy with her aggressive sexual needs (mainly consisting of lurid roleplay that always ends with Chabuddy "having to be punished") while continuing to have sex with other men. Eventually even the delusional Chabuddy realises how unhealthy this is and they break up — at which point she posts various humiliating pictures of him on social media. •
Tiff Stevenson as Tanya (series 2–5), Miche's boss at the salon. Tanya is more level-headed and worldly than most of the characters and does her best to keep Miche's feet on the ground. While she tries to be kind and patient with Miche she is often taken aback by her stupidity and daydreams. • Pamela Lyne as Steves' nan (series 2–3), Steves' loving and good-humoured grandmother, who also supplies him with various drugs. She is aware of her grandson's love of substance abuse but does not seem to be clued in on how much he is being taken advantage of. There are various hints she had a close sexual relationship with a fellow resident at the old people's home. Steves' nan dies at the end of Series 3 from an unknown cause, leaving him devastated until he latches onto the belief that she has been reincarnated as Beats and Roche's daughter Robin, born the same day he found out about his nan's death. She also leaves him a considerable inheritance in cash, which is frittered away before the remnants are confiscated by the police. •
Petra Letang as Tia (series 3), an employee at Chabuddy's short-lived Champagne Steam Bar. She tactfully deflects Chabuddy's attempts to start a relationship with her, but vanishes from the series when he loses the bar and becomes homeless. • Cally Lawrence as Jackie (series 3–5), an older hairdresser at the salon. •
Richard David-Caine as Sam (series 4–5), Chabuddy's boss at Sonoda, an electrical shop. Sam is amiable but professional, and struggles to deal with Chabuddy's antics while working at the branch, eventually sacking him after discovering he was damaging goods and stealing them to sell on. ==Production==