and daughter
Gudrun , in November/December 1936 Himmler met his future wife, Margarete Boden, in 1927. They met during one of his lecture tours and remained thereafter in written contact. In one surviving letter, Boden refers to Heinrich Himmler as the "
Landsknecht with the hard heart" but she was nevertheless impressed by his romantic style of writing and his sincere love for her. The blonde, blue-eyed nurse corresponded perfectly to Heinrich Himmler's ideal woman. Seven years his senior, Boden shared his interest in herbal medicine and
homeopathy, and was part owner of a small private clinic. They shared an excessive propensity for efficiency, and neatness, longed for strict domesticity, and both preferred a parsimonious lifestyle. From her husband she received a consistent diet of
anti-Semitism and diatribes against
Communists and
Freemasons. Her anti-Semitism was evident in a letter to Heinrich Himmler dated 22 June 1928, in which she made disparaging remarks about the co-owner of the private clinic in Berlin, gynecologist and surgeon Bernhard Hauschildt, exclaiming, "That Hauschildt! Those Jews are all the same!" Heinrich and Margarete married in July 1928. Initially, Heinrich struggled with the decision to reveal his relationship with Margarete to his parents, partly due to her being seven years older, but also because she was a divorcee, and foremost, because she was a
Protestant. None of Himmler's family members attended the wedding, so Heinrich's groomsmen were the father and brother of the bride. Ultimately, Heinrich Himmler's parents accepted Margarete, but the family kept their distance from her and remained that way throughout the length of the relationship. The couple had their only child,
Gudrun, who was born on 8 August 1929; they were also foster parents to Gerhard von Ahe, the son of an SS officer who had died before the war. Margarete sold her share of the clinic and used the proceeds to buy a plot of land in
Waldtrudering, near Munich, where they put up a prefabricated house. Himmler was constantly away on party business, so his wife took charge of their efforts—mostly unsuccessful—to raise livestock for sale. After
the Nazis seized power in January 1933, the family moved first to Möhlstrasse in Munich, and in 1934 to
Gmund am Tegernsee, where they bought a house. Himmler later gained a large house in the Berlin suburb of
Dahlem free of charge as an official residence. The couple now saw each other rarely as Himmler became absorbed by work.
Gebhard, Heinrich Himmler's older brother, characterized Margarete as a "cool, hard woman with extremely delicate nerves who radiated no warmth at all and spent too much time moaning" who had, despite these characteristics, been an "exemplary housewife", one who devotedly loved Heinrich and remained true to her husband. Margarete Himmler joined the
Nazi Party as early as 1928 (member number 97,252). Due to Himmler's enormous responsibilities, the relationship with Marga was strained. The couple did unite for social functions; they were frequent guests at the home of
Reinhard Heydrich. Margarete saw it as her duty to invite the wives of the senior SS leaders over for coffee and tea on Wednesday afternoons. Despite her best efforts and the fact that Margarete was married to the
Reichsführer-SS, she remained unpopular in SS circles. Former Hitler Youth leader
Baldur von Schirach wrote in his memoirs that Heinrich Himmler was constantly "henpecked", essentially had zero influence at home, and had to yield to Margarete's will. During the
Nuremberg Rally in 1938, Himmler had conflicts with most of the wives of the highest-ranking SS leaders, who as a group refused to take any directions from her. According to Heydrich's biographers and historian
Robert Gerwarth,
Lina Heydrich harbored a "violent dislike" of Margarete Himmler, which was probably reciprocated.
Hedwig Potthast, Himmler's young secretary starting in 1936, became his mistress by 1938. She left her job in 1941. Himmler fathered two children with her: a son, Helge (born 1942), and a daughter, Nanette Dorothea (born 1944 at Berchtesgaden). Margarete, by then living in the town of
Gmund am Tegernsee in Bavaria with her daughter, learned of the relationship sometime in 1941. Margarete and Himmler were already separated, and she decided to tolerate the relationship for the sake of her daughter. ==Second World War==