The couple's combined extravagance meant that the countess was left with debts totalling £145,000 upon the Earl's death. While the sum was staggering, her fortune far exceeded the figure and she had little trouble discharging these debts. As a widow, she also regained control of her fortune, centred on the mines and farms around her childhood home of
Gibside in County Durham. At the time of the Earl's death, the countess was pregnant by a lover, George Gray. Born in
Calcutta in 1737, where his father had worked as a surgeon for the
East India Company, Gray was a Scottish "
nabob" who had made and squandered a small fortune working for the same company. He had returned to England under a cloud in 1766 after squandering both his own fortune and a considerable inheritance.
Samuel Foote's play
The Nabob is believed to have been inspired by Gray, who was also a friend of
James Boswell. Despite the pregnancy, the
dowager countess was loath to marry Gray, since her loss of rank would be considerable and since Gray's fortune had been squandered anyway. She successfully
induced an abortion by drinking "a black inky kind of
medicine". However, she continued the affair with Gray and became pregnant repeatedly, undergoing two further abortions. Her candid account of these abortions is one of very few available first-person descriptions of secret abortions in the era before legalised abortion. When she found herself pregnant by Gray a fourth time, the dowager countess resigned herself to marrying him and they became formally engaged to marry. This was in 1776. However, that same summer of 1776, the dowager countess was seduced by a charming and wily
Anglo-Irish adventurer,
Andrew Robinson Stoney, who manipulated his way into her household after squandering the inheritance from his first wife, Hannah Newton, (using the governess of the children,
Eliza Planta) and into her bed. Calling himself "Captain" Stoney (although in reality, he was a mere lieutenant in the British Army) he insisted on fighting a
duel in the dowager countess's honour with the editor of
The Morning Post, a newspaper which had published scurrilous articles about her private life. In fact, Stoney had himself written the articles both criticising and defending the countess. He now faked a duel with the editor, the Reverend Sir
Henry Bate Dudley, to appeal to Mary's romantic nature. Pretending to be mortally wounded, Stoney begged the dowager countess to grant his dying wish: to marry her. Taken in by the ruse, she agreed. ==Second marriage==