(Note that the links direct to the genuine show on which Roger's version was based.) •
Bargain Cunt •
Blind Shag •
Blue Roger •
Blinkety Blank •
Pimp My Ride •
Call My Muff •
Challenge Roger •
The Bristol Maze •
Cuntdown •
The Mellie Report • Celebrity Bumhole •
Whose Line Is It Now? •
Marbles Up Their Arseholes • Farting About With Mellie • Celebrity Shit In A Bucket •
MellieTubbies •
Look Fulchester • Fuck A Duck • Blowing The Lid Off Britain's Brothels •
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? •
Roger Mellie's Live Russian Roulette • '
Roger', daytime show •
Jackass UK •
The Bollock Naked Chef •
Pano-fucking-rama •
Who Do You Think You Are? • Celebrity Genital Mutilation •
Girls of the Razzle House • The News in Black and White • Roger's Big-Game Show •
Dirtbox Jury •
Britain's Got Piles •
Rog'll Sort It •
Roger Mellie's Skidmarks TV series The 1991 animated TV series had 4 episodes. • Episode 1, Celebrity Bumhole: Due to an "administrative error", Roger has been asked by the BBC to present the
Antiques Roadshow, but arrives late as he claimed that there is "some sort of fucking jumble sale" in the hall: Tom tells him that it is part of the programme. After being introduced to the antiques expert, Hedley Smedley-Smythe, they look at a vase, but Roger breaks one of its handles off. Then, they look at an old wooden chair which Roger sits on and breaks to pieces due to his weight. Next, he is in the office with the boss who gives him one more chance to change his behaviour. The next day, at FTV studios, Roger presents a kids' TV show called
Blue Roger (a parody of
Blue Peter) along with a ginger-haired kid. They have a look at some puppies and Roger exclaims that one of them has a "little penis!" Tom then asks Roger to go to the producer's office, where he is fired. At the bar, Roger has an idea for a game show (
Celebrity Bumhole) and the head of BBC1's early evening programmes hires him for £500,000 a year. The next day, he presents
Blinkety Blank (a parody of
Blankety Blank) but this ends after he punches one of the contestants (
Paul Daniel), who made fun of Roger's baldness. Later at the bar, Roger tells Tom that he is writing an autobiography called ''They Don't Call Me Roger for Nothing
, but Tom says that he cannot publish it because it is "disgusting", although a man from the News of the World'' says that they will serialise his book in their newspaper and pay him £50,000. He then tells Roger that they have job vacancies for TV presenters on Sky TV. • Episode 2, Celebrity Golf: On Sunday morning, Tom phones Roger from the golf club to remind him about participating in FTV's first annual Celebrity Golf tournament. Roger tells him he will be there in twenty minutes, but he finally arrives in a golf cart two hours later. Tom tells him that it is for charity and that they are already four hours behind schedule. Tom introduces Roger to
Jimmy Tarbrush and
Bruce Fivesyth, and Roger tries to get a drink from the clubhouse to avoid playing golf for nothing. During the game, Roger tries to tell Tarby a rude joke, but Tom reminds him that it is a family show. Then Roger breaks one of Brucie's drivers while taking his shot. While Brucie takes his shot, Roger is trying to find his "bastard ball" and when Brucie's ball lands in a bunker, he finds Roger "having a dump" in it. Eventually, on the green, Brucie and Tarby have putted and after Roger is finished, he goes off to the clubhouse for a drink, but Tom tells him that it was only the first hole and there is still another seventeen to play. However, Roger carries on regardless as he cannot be bothered to play anymore. The group carry on without him and Brucie wins the tournament. A very drunk Roger congratulates Brucie for winning the tournament and vomits on him. • Episode 3, Challenge Roger: Roger (who is between jobs) is at home watching the TV when
Challenge Anneka comes on; this gives him an idea to make his own version of the programme, called
Challenge Roger. The next day, in his office, he tells Tom about his show which is for charity. Roger gets a tracksuit, camera, mobile phone and an old yellow van with
Challenge Roger in red lettering. The plan is to build a swimming pool in just 24 hours (for the "orphaned kids and old folks") at Roger's house. Roger tries to phone a builder using his mobile phone, which malfunctions, and they have to find a phone box. On the way, they stop at an off-licence in an attempt to get some free lager and cigarettes, but the salesman says that he can only sell them and Roger insults him in front of the camera. Eventually, they finally find a phone box and when they finally get an Irish builder called Mr. Murphy to do the job, they only have 18 hours left to build the pool. As the builder starts the job, Roger and Tom head down to the pub for a few drinks and after telling the barman that he will mention his pub on the telly, he gives them the drinks free of charge. When they return, the builder is finished with about a minute to spare. After thanking him for the job, Roger says that they will flog the programme to the BBC and keep the money for themselves. • Episode 4, The Crook Report: One morning, at FTV,
Challenge Roger has been such a success and Roger is asked to present
The Crook Report (a parody of
The Cook Report) after Roger Cook gets beaten up, but before rushing into it, Tom tells him to be calm, sympathetic and tactful at all times. Soon, in Tom's car, they arrive in a poor area to investigate the
slum landlord who owns a block of flats. In one flat lives the 84-year-old Mrs Parker. She lives alone and is very frightened because the landlord has been trying to evict her. Roger tries to interview Mrs Parker, but she wants him to go away. However, Roger breaks the door down and scares her to death. Next, they have a word with the landlord, Mr McKenzie. Roger tries to refresh his memory about the tenants but is told to talk to his solicitor. Then, the police arrive but they arrest Roger instead of Mr McKenzie. The next day, in Tom's office, Roger reveals he was fined £250 by the police, but Tom tells him to forget it. Kenneth Spanner has had to drop out of
Whose Line Is It Now? (a parody of
Whose Line Is It Anyway?) to perform a heart bypass operation, and Roger is asked to replace him. Then, on the show, Roger wants to see the script, but Tom tells him that there is no script as it is spontaneous improvisation. Roger gets annoyed with the contestant beside him (a parody of
Whose Line panellist John Sessions), and after being asked by
Clive Sanderson to improvise a poem about changing a light bulb, he does it in the style of
Muhammad Ali. However, this ends with him punching the contestant beside him and calling him a "Scottish twat!" ==References==