Laverne enters Kevin's house, with Winnie following. The three walk throughout the house, Kevin looking for his wife Paula, and Laverne talking over him. Winnie, sick and off school for the day, is allowed to stay whilst her mother does the cleaning. Laverne reminds Winnie that Tuesday is "French Day", when the two of them only speak in French – the idea being that after Laverne's second child, Jericho Alexander Samson, is born, the three of them will start a new life in
Martinique, birthplace of Laverne's parents. After exchanging a few phrases in French (Laverne's French is considerably worse than her daughter's), Laverne leaves Winnie to write her school essay. Titled "My Wonderful Day", it must record everything that happens in the day. Winnie shortly hears Kevin on the phone discussing last night's party with his friend, Josh, using most unsuitable language, and this she diligently adds. Then Tiffany, Kevin's young and skinny secretary arrives. She enthusiastically talks to her like a toddler, and replies in French. Laverne explains "French Day" and when she mentions that her husband is gone, Tiffany as asks if he was young, and Laverne replies "She was". Kevin gets drawn into another phone call, this time an argument with Paula, so Tiffany ushers Winnie into the office. Unsure what to say, Tiffany first talks about her boarding school and then excitedly describes Kevin's television fame, before suggesting they watch "Fantacity", a promotional DVD for a business/retail park fronted by Kevin and edited by Tiffany. Tiffany gazes adoringly, mouthing his words, whilst Winnie gets bored and balances a pencil of her head. Tiffany has just pointed herself out when the DVD is interrupted by Paula, who describes Tiffany as the fat one by the pool and say that she and Kevin have been "fucking each other's brains out". A distraught Tiffany (upset mainly for being called fat) takes Winnie away into the kitchen and gets Kevin. Laverne promises to read Winnie's essay after work and keep cleaning. Josh then arrives, summoned by Kevin's emergency. Both, mistakenly believing Winnie only speaks French (even with an English-speaking mother), discuss the messy details in front of her. Paula's appearance is on the whole batch of DVDs – something she is adept at, having previously won a
BAFTA for editing. With both men having defunct marriages, they agree that Paula is genetically inclined to violence. Josh is left alone with Winnie. Worse for wear, he talks about his relationship with his teenage daughter, who he now barely sees. Assuming Winnie hasn't understood this, he dissolves into tears. Winnie, meanwhile, writes down everything Kevin and Josh said. Laverne then cries out in pain, having gone into labour early. In spite Laverne's reassurances she'll be all right, a worried Winnie suddenly gives her mother a hug. Left alone for the afternoon, Kevin, Josh and Tiffany approach Winnie with exaggerated kindness. Kevin explains that they will look after her until her neighbour can collect her, but his patience swiftly wears thin when he discovers there is no lunch. Tiffany goes for sandwiches whilst a famished Josh tries to persuade Winnie to give him one of her biscuits, and when that fails, tries to pinch one only to be caught red-handed. Feigning interest in the book Winnie is reading,
The Secret Garden, Winnie reads it aloud for him (one word at a time and stumbling over the hard ones), whilst Josh falls asleep. Tiffany leaves Josh his sandwich, which Winnie takes a bite from before putting it back in the package. Driven from the kitchen by Josh's snoring, Winnie returns to the living room, sitting on the one part of the sofa not soaked when her mother's waters broke. Before her eyes, Kevin comforts Tiffany from the earlier insults, then they move on to pet names of "Big Bear" and "Ickle Tiffy" before heading for the bedroom. She continues writing until Paula arrives. Winnie speaks to her in French, and Paula responds likewise. She assumed Winnie has peed on the sofa before Winnie explains, whereupon Paula apologises for losing her temper, acknowledges it is her bad habit and promises not to do it again. She then takes Winnie on a hunt for Kevin, and instead finds Josh asleep in the kitchen. Josh, correctly guessing where Kevin has gone, tries to bluff Paula away from looking upstairs, but when Winnie says what happened in French and Josh asks what she said, a furious Paula say, "Enough". Winnie sees Paula escort Tiffany outside, with Tiffany covered only in a bedsheet – which Paula retains after pushing her through the door. Ignoring Tiffany's pleas about the cold, Paula then return upstairs. Moments later, Josh helps a bleeding Kevin outside, Kevin having been hit of the head with Paula's BAFTA. Paula apologises again to Winnie for losing her temper twice, and then, leaving Winnie just enough time to finish her essay, before taking Winnie to the hospital. In hospital, both Laverne and the newborn baby are fine. Paula leaves them, explains she need to attend to another patient with a head injury. Winnie almost persuades her mother not to call the baby Jericho, but when Laverne suggests naming it after Kevin, Winnie goes with Jericho. Then Winnie read out her essay. It goes into minute detail (including the state of Kevin's toenails, and her belief that her mother only says she wants to go to Martinique because she is unhappy about the separation). Only the beginning of the essay is heard, because the closing music fades in. However, Laverne is seen sitting is in amazement, then snatching the essay off Winnie and reading the rest herself. ==Productions==