Childlike Candice-Marie Pratt and eccentric-obsessive Keith Pratt arrive at a campsite in Dorset and pitch their tent in a quiet spot suitable for appreciating nature's wonders while keeping other human beings safely at arm's length. The couple take day trips to
Corfe Castle, a quarry, and a local farm to purchase some
unpasteurised milk. Their usual routine (which includes performing their own guitar-banjo compositions, preparing healthy vegetarian dinners and following
the Country Code) is rudely interrupted by Ray, a lone student and trainee PE teacher who camps nearby and switches on his radio: this is treated by the couple as an unforgivable crime, and they try to force Ray to turn it off. Later, on the way home after a trip to
Stair Hole, it begins to rain and the couple notice a figure (which turns out to be Ray) walking along the road and give him a lift home. Their relationship becomes increasingly tense and tempers flare when Keith notices Candice Marie exhibiting an unseemly interest in Ray – "she crawls into his tent to show him stones she has collected on the beach; Keith explodes with jealous rage after spying on them from behind the bushes with his binoculars, like a character in a
farce." Later, Ray is asked to take a photograph of the couple but is patronised by Keith and Candice Marie and is forced to participate in a song at Keith's behest. As soon as some kind of order seems to have been restored,
Brummie couple Finger and Honky arrive on their motorbike, equipped with an army tent, a football and a fondness for late-night drinking. Befriending Ray, who has more in common with their personalities than Keith and Candice Marie, they all get drunk at the local pub. After arriving back at the campsite and continuing to make a large amount of noise, Honky and Finger raise the ire of Keith who shouts at them to be quiet. The next day, Keith and Candice Marie have an intense argument with Finger and Honky over Finger's plans to light an open fire to cook some sausages. Keith highly objects to this, as it contravenes the rules of the site and the country code, so resorts to physical threats to stop it, chasing Finger around the campsite with a large branch. Eventually running out of energy, Keith bursts into tears and runs off into the woods. When he returns some time later, Keith decides that he and Candice Marie will leave the campsite but is unable to get a refund from Miss Beale, the site's owner. While searching for a new campsite (or "a bed and breakfast if the worst came to the worst," says Keith), a police car pulls up behind them. Keith provides the policeman with his documents, but is humiliated when the officer points out that the
Morris Minor's spare tyre is bald, an offence. Finally finding peace, Keith and Candice Marie pitch their tent in the field of a nearby farm. Having marvelled at how the wind plucks the strings of their guitar, Keith heads off looking for a suitable spot to go to the toilet and Candice Marie sings along to another composition of hers on guitar. Meanwhile, it is revealed they are seemingly oblivious to the battery farming of chickens and mechanical cow milking practised on the farm. ==Cast==