After the publicity, Laing found herself shunned by the white community, although she was re-classified as white again in 1966 when the law was changed to allow a person to be classified as white if both parents are classified as white. She attended a Coloured boarding school away from her family and became immersed in the non-white world. Her only friends were the children of black employees. At the age of 16, Laing eloped to
Swaziland with Petrus Zwane, a black South African who spoke Zulu. She was jailed for three months for illegal border-crossing. Her father threatened to kill her for the marriage and broke off contact with her. They never met again. Although she and her husband had two children, who were classified as "Coloured", she was threatened with losing them unless she also was classified as "Coloured", as a white parent could not raise Coloured children. At the age of 26, she arranged for the change in race classification officially, although her father had refused permission earlier. Except for secret trips to see her mother when her father was out of the house, Laing was estranged from her family and struggled to survive economically. When her parents moved away from Piet Retief, the clandestine visits were no longer possible. Laing lost contact with her family completely. Laing and her husband separated due to the pressures they were under, and she put their children into government care for a period. Years later she married again, to Johannes Motloung, a Sotho-speaking man. They had three children together and she was able to reclaim her first two; all are now grown and with families of their own. Trying to reconcile with her family in the 1980s, Laing learned that her father had died and her mother Sannie refused to see her. In 2000 the
Johannesburg Times tracked down Laing to learn about her years since the end of apartheid. The newspaper helped Laing find her mother, who was in a nursing home by that time. Sandra and Sannie reconciled and shared time together before Sannie's death in 2001. The publicity helped Laing, her husband and family gain new housing; they now live in Leachville, new estates east of Johannesburg. In 2009, it was reported that Laing's brothers still refused to see her. She has said in interviews with
The Guardian and
Little White Lies that she continued to hope they would some day have a change of heart. ==Representation in other media==