Audrey Audrey is the
stereotypical housewife. She likes entering competitions and winning holidays to
Venus and Torimonalisus (she mispronounced
Venice and
Torremolinos). Audrey is considerably less intelligent than Alf and often shows this through complete lack of
common knowledge. For example, she seems to think that the
coalman and Michael Morris's
Mam are just 'friends', even though the other characters find it obvious that they are having an affair (see Minor Characters). Audrey (seemingly) cooks very badly. When she made steak and kidney pudding for Billy and Alf's
tea she left it
boiling dry resulting in burnt pastry (which tasted like
cardboard according to Alf). Audrey has a sister called Pamela, whom Alf hates. She always has a best trifle dish and wears an apron.
Alf Alf is the family patriarch and a 'male
shoulderless pig' (according to Audrey), he eats
corned dog (which he calls it whereas Audrey refers to it by its actual name). The only times where he is obviously nice to Billy is when he is drunk; he
smokes and gets Billy to fetch him either: a box of matches (swan vestas), corned beef and much more. His face is never seen and appears to be quite a huge man who has very little money, he sarcastically calls Audrey mock affectionate names such as "sweet little thistle" and hated Poshy/Oswald (see below for more detail).
Billy William "Billy" Bradshaw is perhaps the most popular character in the series. He loves both his parents (though Alf can be very mean to him on occasions), Billy, like Michael, is a
puppet who acts as a son to two adults, Billy enjoys going to the
flicks and would like a pet of some sort, either a
dog,
zebra or "Zedgie" (an imaginary animal that Alf made up). Billy is Michael's best friend, Michael is allowed
bubble gum, which makes Billy jealous and envious, Billy often tries to get some bubble gum, however his parents refuse to give him some.
Poshy/Oswald Poshy or Oswald was Billy's
kitten, Audrey and Billy both originally referred him to a he at first, But after Audrey took the cat down to a woman's house. It was then realised Poshy/Oswald was now a girl, she only appears in three episodes. In the episode 'Open Wide', Poshy escaped from the Bradshaws home and ran to (possibly) Winefred Dutton's and never appeared again, Billy and Audrey were both worried. Alf in a selfish way, was pleased that Poshy had run away. In the TV version of ''Postman's Knock
, Poshy did make a cameo appearance at the end where while Alf was making a depressed Audrey a brew, he saw through the window Oswald with a scruffy tom cat, sitting on the wall. He then jokingly said Hey up! Oswald's found his dad.''
The Dog The Dog is nameless, it is not a major character in the series but is still used in the house. The dog appears to be a
brindle Bull Terrier, the dog usually wears Alf's hats, seeing that he puts them on it; it turns its head to see what goes in the house and appears to "threaten" Poshy, the kitten. ==Minor characters==