Although each episode was nominally structured around the basic narrative premise of Count Frightenstein's efforts to revive Brucie J. Monster, a
Frankenstein-like monster, He also fancies himself an inventor, although his inventions generally have one of three faults: they are either dangerous, useless, or already a common household object upon which his version is not an improvement. • Igor (Fishka Rais) was Frightenstein's incompetent assistant.
Supporting Supporting characters were played by Billy Van, except where specified. • The Wolfman – A
werewolf disk jockey at radio station EECH who spun
rock and roll records while doing a
Wolfman Jack impression. The Wolfman's theme song was Sly and the Family Stone's "I Want to Take You Higher". The segment featured then-current hit singles by
The Rolling Stones,
Sly and the Family Stone,
Three Dog Night or other Top 40 radio stars of the time (which were referred to as ‘golden oldies’ in order to avoid dating the program), with the Wolfman and Igor dancing in silhouette against a psychedelic background. Due to
licensing reasons, the musical numbers are no longer shown on some reruns, although broadcasts on YTV in the early 2000s included the segments. • The Grammar Slammer – The
Grammar Slammer was a disembodied voice (Van) who challenged Igor to correct grammatical errors, accompanied by an eight-foot purple monster named Bammer (worn and voiced by
Joe Torbay) who threatened to beat up Igor if he failed. • The Professor (
Julius Sumner Miller) – A professor who provided genuine science lessons on such things as
thermal expansion and the
cartesian diver, in the vein of
Why Is It So? • Bwana Clyde Batty – A British explorer who teaches about wild animals on
Zany Zoo. His name is a
spoof of animal trainer
Clyde Beatty. His catchphrase is "ooga booga!" • Dr. Pet Vet – A
veterinarian who teaches about domestic animals (whereas
Zany Zoo was about wild fauna). He always offers the day's animal to Igor as a pet, but the Sloth in the basement invariably refuses to allow Igor to keep the animal. There were episodes in which Pet Vet did not actually appear on camera, but would communicate with Igor over the phone after sending the day's animal over. • Grizelda, the Ghastly Gourmet – A
witch voiced as a parody of
Julia Child, who provides a version of a television cooking show as she cooks suitably ghastly recipes in her cauldron. In every one of her segments, she bangs her head on the pot above her cauldron and finally tastes her recipe with a loud slurping sound (sometimes declaring the recipe a failure after it causes a small explosion). • The Librarian – An elderly curmudgeon who unsuccessfully tries to scare the viewers by reading children's stories, such as "
Humpty Dumpty" and "
Henny Penny", which he thinks are horror stories. He also sometimes reads fables with unpleasant endings. He eventually admits to not being any more frightened than the viewers, but considers reading important nonetheless. • The Maharishi – A
Hindu guru who shares bits of mystically inscrutable wisdom (e.g. "It is written, that he who kicks the blind beggar, in the marketplace, during an eclipse, can only curse the camel, for its lack of discipline.") A large bag of flowers (dyed carnations) would then fall on top of his head, after which he would make the peace sign. • The Oracle – A mystic who reads out
horoscopes in a
Peter Lorre voice, invariably knocking over and breaking his
crystal ball in the process. He also would often get his hand temporarily stuck inside his replacement crystal ball. He then answers questions supposedly sent in from viewers. • The Mini-Count (Guy Big) is a three-foot tall clone of the Count, who appears in brief sketches where he tells a joke. Big was originally slated to play the main role as the Count, as the original character concept was based in part on the sight gag of a diminutive Count contrasted against Igor's imposing height and weight. However, Big was not experienced enough as an actor to properly maintain Count Frightenstein's desired
accent, so the role was recast to star Van while a new smaller role was written for Big.
Puppets Puppet characters were performed by
puppeteer Joe Torbay. • Harvey Wallbanger – The postmaster of Castle Frightenstein's "dead letter office", he would appear in sketches with the Count or Grizelda in which they answer letters. • Gronk – A purple sea serpent who interacts with the Count or the Wolfman. Gronk would announce his presence with a loud call of "Gronk!" Gronk's segments usually had the Count reading a book; the Count would then start explaining what the book was about, with Gronk interrupting him, usually mid-sentence, with a completely incorrect conclusion to what the Count had been reading. This would happen several times, leading to greater and greater frustration on the part of the Count. Segments with the Wolfman were generally one-line or two-line jokes. • Bammer – A large purple monster who assisted the Grammar Slammer in correcting Igor's poor grammar.
Minor or interstitial characters • Super Hippy (Mitch Markowitz) — A
hippie in a
superhero costume who appears leading in and out of
commercials, sitting or flying in varying locations as he delivers some variation on "Don't change the channel; we'll be right back after these commercials". • The Singing Soldier (Van) — A light-operetta styled palace guard who gets a cream pie thrown in his face whenever he starts to sing "
Indian Love Call" from
Rose-Marie. • The Mosquito (Mitch Markowitz) – A mosquito who tells a bad joke about insects before biting a human foot. • The Gorilla (Van or Paul Schultz) – A gorilla who would walk out of the jungle and invariably try to scare whomever he was looking at. In every segment, however, he would be thwarted by a ping-pong ball that would hit him square in the head, causing him to keel over. He often tried to avoid the ping-pong balls, in one instance by holding up a parasol. ==Home media==