• '''Joannie 'Nan' Taylor:''' The foul-mouthed grandmother is an old East London woman who constantly swears at and criticises other people. She is always visited by her well-mannered grandson Jamie, where the visits usually start off well enough, with the Nan showing how grateful she is that her grandson has come to see her. However, things usually take a turn for the worse after she starts to make unfavourable comments about her neighbours, family, and home help visitors. Jamie is a university student, but according to Nan, is unemployed. Nan repeatedly asserts that he is gay, although Jamie has said on many occasions that he has a girlfriend. Regular performances by Catherine Tate and
Mathew Horne. •
Lauren Cooper: Lauren Cooper is a
comprehensive school student with a bad attitude who is most widely known for her phrase "Am I bovvered?". Lauren, her best friend Lisa 'Liese' Jackson and her love interest Ryan Perkins are known as yobs. Regular performances by Catherine Tate, Mathew Horne and
Niky Wardley. •
Bernie: The incompetent Irish nurse. Bernie is an unruly, randy woman who bordered on being sacked in the hospital where she worked in every episode. She frequently makes inappropriate remarks to her patients, flirts with most of the male staff, takes a critically ill patient on a wild night out, and mixes up the records of living patients with those of deceased ones. Regular performance by Catherine Tate. •
Paul and Sam: The Essex couple. They are happily married yet slightly simple, and find everyday situations surprisingly hilarious. Paul and Sam often excitedly tell each other stories, which they find highly amusing and interesting. The stories build up and when completed, Paul and Sam would both produce an exaggerated and completely silent laugh. Regular performances by Catherine Tate and
Lee Ross. •
Kate and Ellen: This sketch followed two office workers who sat next to each other. While Ellen is usually keen to get on with her work, she is frequently disturbed by Kate (Tate). Kate continually makes conversation about her lifestyle, inviting her co-worker to "Have a guess!" on such delicate situations. While Ellen is reluctant to go along with the guessing games, she is pressured into making a wild guess, which almost always results in Kate's becoming insulted and consequently offensive. Ellen occasionally guesses correctly, causing Kate to become angry and verbally or physically abuse her. Regular performances by Catherine Tate and
Ella Kenion. •
Elaine Figgis: Elaine is a woman who appeared in a documentary following her search for love, mostly corresponding with people around the world via the Internet in search of a man. The unseen interviewer and narrator is called Tanya. follows her engagement and eventual marriage to a convicted cannibal and lunatic on Death Row in the US, who abducted, tortured and murdered eight people, proceeding to eat two of them. Regular performance by Catherine Tate and
Rebecca Front as the voice of Tanya. •
The Aga Saga Woman: An upper-middle-class woman who goes into a state of shock in various, seemingly innocuous situations. Regular performance by Catherine Tate. •
Derek Faye: Derek, who first appeared in series two, is a man who shows several signs of being gay (combining some mannerisms of famous gay British comedians such as Kenneth Williams and Frankie Howerd), but seems to be in denial about his sexuality and becomes extremely offended and defensive when people assume he is gay. To his dislike, these occurrences are frequent because he behaves in an extremely effeminate way. His most famous catchphrase is "How very dare you!", along with the overuse of the word "dear". This can be seen in another catchphrase; when asked about his sexuality he replies "Who, dear? Me, dear? Gay, dear? No, dear!", or when asked for advice replying "Me, dear? Advice, dear? Yes, dear." When offended, Derek states how he and his mother have been doing something relative to the person Derek is insulted by for 25 years. Regular performer includes Catherine Tate. •
Irene and Vernon: Irene (whose accent suggests that she is an East Londoner of Maltese origins) and the ever silent Vernon (often referred to as Vern) first appeared in series two. They are the owners of a mobile burger van situated on the side of a motorway. During their sketches they are visited by a regular customer called Neville whom Irene tries to convince that she and Vernon have been visited by various celebrities. In Series 3, their apparent visitors include
Condoleezza Rice,
ABBA, and
Henry VIII. Neville almost always orders a double cheese with no sauce, and keeps a tab with Irene and Verne and always asks if he can "settle up on Friday." When Neville appears, Irene never knows the name of the celebrity in question and always attempts to describe them. Regular performers include Catherine Tate, Aschlin Ditta and Brian Murphy. •
Janice and Ray: A racist, xenophobic Northern couple, who express their disgust at meals they have been presented with at restaurants, usually based on either perceived over-pricing or the exotic nature of the food. They are also shown to be frustrated by the availability of such items in their locality, owing to comments such as "This were in Harrogate." After complaining about the food and prices, they use their most infamous catchphrase: "The dirty bastards!" or sometimes "The dirty, evil, robbing bastards!" •
Geordie Georgie: A frequent petitioner, who constantly tries to get her co-worker, Martin, to sponsor her charities with facts such as "Every 38 minutes ..." then follows her statements up with "If you don't believe me then log on to the website ...". The scenes for this sketch follow the same pattern. Georgie comes into the office and starts singing happily, with Martin joining in, and then she asks Martin how his weekend went. Martin then talks about his daughter Michaela which would prompt Georgie to feel concerned about her but then begin to talk abusively about her. Georgie then requests to borrow something on Martin's desk, for example "can I borrow your nice lime green highlighter?" She then describes her and 'the girls' latest fund-raising effort and asks him to sponsor her. He always offers a modest donation then makes at least one small increase, but after several futile attempts to get him to donate yet more money, she says "Let's say no more about it because I wouldn't want it to come between us pet". She then attacks him in a manner that has something to do with the cause she was championing. ==Episodes==