Opening with an
in medias res flashforward,
Charlie (
Charlie Day) stumbles around Paddy's Pub with red all over his stomach. Flashing back to "when it all began", Charlie has just dealt with a clogged
disabled toilet when
Dennis (
Glenn Howerton) walks in, giving Charlie a cleaning job. Charlie declines, and Dennis brings out
Mac (
Rob McElhenney) in an attempt to intimidate him. Charlie knocks Mac out, but gives in to Dennis' demands and starts mopping the floor. Charlie follows a trail of blood when
Dee (
Kaitlin Olson) enters Paddy's and informs him that
Frank (
Danny DeVito) has been diarrhea-poisoned and is staying at her place. Dee asks Charlie to come and get rid of Frank in exchange for a new set of rags, and he agrees. At Dee's apartment, Charlie questions Frank about the diarrhea, but Frank clams up and denies any foul play was involved. The next day, Charlie goes around, trying to find anyone with a grudge against Frank, when he sees Vince (Wass Stevens) bothering his girlfriend,
the Waitress (
Mary Elizabeth Ellis), and scares him off. Charlie tells the Waitress that he'll protect her from Vince if he tries anything, and she thanks him. In Paddy's, Charlie finds that Dennis and Mac have a motive to want to hurt Frank, but they deny it. Charlie follows who he thinks is Dee, but it turns out to be
Rickety Cricket (
David Hornsby)
cross-dressing. Cricket reveals to Charlie that he's been working for Frank, who has been paying him to contaminate cherries with
feces. Charlie returns to his apartment, where the Waitress enters and she and Charlie kiss. The next morning, Charlie wakes up to find Dee in his bed, pretending to be dead, and Dennis and Mac trying to blackmail him by framing him for murder. Dennis explains that he and Mac work for Frank, who sells uncontaminated cherries at a mark up price. Charlie tells them to arrange him a meeting with Vince. Charlie arranges to meets Frank in Paddy's basement, where he finds him bleeding out. Frank reveals that he sells the cherries illegally due to
Red 40 being banned. Charlie asks Frank who poisoned him when he's knocked out by Vince. He wakes up and sees Vince holding a red 40-day
AA chip, and thus pours ammonia-bleach to knock Vince out. Charlie eats a pie the Waitress made for him, and realizes he's been poisoned. The Waitress reveals that she has been pupeteering Frank's cherry plan, and that she poisoned Frank and Vince, the latter of whom was actually her AA sponsor. Charlie reveals that he knew the Waitress was going to poison him, and he took bleach beforehand. Charlie vomits the cherry all over the Waitress, and Dee enters, claiming to have been an
undercover police officer. Dee arrests the Waitress, and Charlie stumbles towards the toilets. == Production ==