''Up, Guards and at 'Em!'' was met with "mixed or averages" reviews from critics. At
Metacritic, which assigns a weighted average rating out of 100 to reviews from mainstream publications, this release received an
average score of 51 based on 8 reviews. Aggregate website AnyDecentMusic? gave the release a 4.8 out of 10 based on a critical consensus of 14 reviews. In a review for
AllMusic, Jon O'Brien said: "Described as a rallying call to guitar bands by Bowman, ''Up, Guards and at 'Em'' isn't distinctive or original enough to inspire anyone to swap their synths for a six-string, and instead, sounds more like a final nail in the British indie coffin than the shot in the arm it needed." At
NME Tim Chester explained: "Those three seconds of stuttering electronica simply take their reputation for leftfield experimentalism too far. Thankfully, such wilful pretension buggers off, and the rest is a more quality-controlled set than last time of big-chorus." Ben Weisz of
MusicOMH wrote: "The latest effort is a progression, in that it's not straightforwardly another collection of variations on
Take Her Back, but it's nothing spectacular either. There are one or two new ventures into the unknown, but by and large, The Pigeon Detectives haven’t made enough progression from Emergency." ==Chart performance==