Diana Trent (
Stephanie Cole) – A curmudgeonly old woman who constantly complains about the state of the world and the way the elderly are treated. If someone tries to insult her, she sees it as a compliment because she sees it as being the only way to stay alive. A constant thorn in Bayview manager Harvey's side, Diana often irritates those around her with her bleak outlook, and admits it is the only thing that keeps her going; however, it is borne out of a genuine sense of right and wrong, and she can be ferocious when protecting those she cares about (particularly Tom and her niece Sarah). Diana is a retired photojournalist, having specialised in combat zones, with the things she has seen contributing to her pessimistic world view. She also takes great pleasure in making other people's lives miserable, with stunts such as "stealing" her niece's red Porsche. Although Diana is a pensioner, Cole was just 48 when she took the role.
Tom Ballard (
Graham Crowden) – An optimistic, jolly old man; in many ways the polar opposite of Diana. However, he shares her sense of justice (and her enjoyment of troublemaking) and the two become good friends (but often with an uneasy relationship). Tom affects a mild dementia and frequently takes imaginary trips to other places (mentally checking out of the retirement home), telling tall tales of his exploits, often involving celebrities. This is to make up for his boring life as an accountant. Although he seems like a 'daffy old coot', when the chips are down he always knows exactly what is going on and has already worked out the best way to handle the problem. His dull son, Geoffrey, and Geoffrey's annoying, offensive wife, Marion (who have a financial stake in Bayview), often visit him despite Marion's reluctance. Tom, however, has the measure of both of them.
Jane Edwards (
Janine Duvitski) – Harvey's prudish, homely and devout Catholic assistant who always looks on the bright side of life, despite Diana's constant attempts to bring her down to earth. She often thinks up new ideas for the home, often backed up by Tom, and whilst Diana is irritated by Jane much of the time, she recognises the good in her and more than once protects her from Harvey's attempts to get rid of her. Jane has an unrequited passion for Harvey, whom she often touches on the shoulder, to which Harvey replies disgustedly, 'Jane... you're touching me'. She is often shocked by what Diana says, with 'Oh Diana!!' becoming something of a catchphrase. A sensitive person, she often ends up running away in tears if anyone mentions anything about Harvey having a relationship with someone other than her or her never getting married.
Harvey Bains (
Daniel Hill) – The greedy, vain manager of Bayview who constantly tries to cut costs, with the money saved usually going into his own pocket. He complains that the "oldies" aren't "efficient units" and would happily get rid of them all – especially Diana, who constantly thwarts his budget-slashing schemes. Although constantly pursued by Jane, Harvey is largely oblivious to this (or else ignores it), preferring the idea of a more glamorous female companion. His plain-spoken mother, Esme Sutherland (played by
Vilma Hollingbery), whom he considers 'common', appears in one episode of Series 3, in which it is also mentioned that he has a sister. His father, whom he never knew, was an American gangster. He wears a wedding band.
Geoffrey Ballard (
Andrew Tourell) – Tom's good-hearted but incredibly dull son, whose chief interests in life are DIY and real ale. He is a successful businessman, but his personal life is a disaster – he feels trapped in his marriage to the often vicious Marion, and will sometimes use his father as a sounding board. Geoffrey is frequently insulted by Diana, but is usually too meek to stand up to her, and largely tolerates her behaviour because of her affection for Tom. Geoffrey and Marion have two children, Tarquin and Sky, who appear in one episode of Series 3, in which they are very rude and obnoxious towards Tom, but are soon firmly put in their place by Diana. Inconsistently, there are 3 children in the car in the first episode as they take Tom to Bayview.
Marion Ballard (
Sandra Payne) – Geoffrey's pill-popping, gin-swilling wife; a generally unpleasant woman who sees Tom purely as a financial burden. She is unfaithful to Geoffrey more than once, and uses alcohol and tranquilizers to escape from her financially secure but unexciting life. If she sees an opportunity to kiss another man, even if Geoffrey is around, she will do it. Marion later leaves Geoffrey for New Age philosophies (along with the equally troubled Reverend Dennis Sparrow), but does not last very long.
Minor characters Basil Makepeace (
Michael Bilton) – An elderly but very randy man who spends most of his time trying to seduce the female residents. He also boasts about his sexual conquests and is not shy about attempting to kiss women 60 years younger than himself, even though he is not very successful in this area. He has a girlfriend whom he does not marry, even though she wants to marry him. He also does not want to give up his crown as the resident
sex symbol of Bayview. At the end of series 4, Michael Bilton died. Basil is referred to as travelling during the special, "Another Christmas at Bayview".
Jamie Edwards (Paddy Ward) – Jane's Irish grandfather, introduced in the special, "Another Christmas at Bayview" and continued through series 5.
Jenny (
Dawn Hope) – A care worker at the home who, unlike Jane, sees through Harvey's dodgy ways, and often agrees with Diana's protests against the Bayview regime. Jenny has a daughter, Mandy, who is seen in one episode of Series 3.
Antonio (Chico Andrade) – A Portuguese gardener, often berated by Diana for his lack of skill. Diana normally speaks to him in pidgin French due to her inability to speak Portuguese (though Antonio shows no sign of understanding French).
Sarah Snow (later Parry) (Lucy Aston) – Diana's niece, who runs a successful modelling agency in London. Diana usually feigns indifference to Sarah, but it is obvious that deep down she cares very much for her. Sarah marries the crooked businessman Sam Parry (
Christopher Bowen) during Series 2: the marriage does not last long, but it does result in Sarah having a child. The baby girl is the apple of Diana's eye and is named 'Diana' after her great-aunt. Sarah calls Diana "Aunty". Diana hates the term and constantly says, "Don't call me 'Aunty'."
The Reverend Dennis Sparrow (
Tim Preece) – The world-weary and inept local vicar, who becomes a semi-regular character from Series 3 onwards, and can generally be relied on to make a hopeless mess of any church service that he attempts to conduct. Marion runs away with him to explore New Age philosophies at the beginning of Series 3, although this does not last long.
James Alarndale (Alex Leam) - Appearing briefly in Series 3, Alarndale is an officious safety inspector who insists Meadowridge install dozens of unnecessary warning signs. Diana deliberately misleads him around the grounds, while Tom repeatedly moves the signs to confuse him. ==Location==