The most commonly acknowledged and cited grief model is the
Five Stages of Grief by
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, which posits that individuals who experience grief tend to go through a cycle of these five stages: •
Denial – Arises as a result of the shock experienced by individuals, and can manifest in the form of numbness, nonchalance, or avoidance. This is a survival instinct of the mind to help individuals pace out the emotional impact that the loss has on the individual. •
Anger – After the reality of the individual's death has set in, anger sets in as well, as individuals starts placing the blame on others or themselves. They might also question their religion. •
Bargaining – At the stage, individuals might begin to ask many "If Only" and "What If" questions, imagining what could have been, should surrounding circumstances be different. •
Depression – This stage is when sadness and feelings of hopelessness sets in, as one realises the irreversibility of death. The emptiness experienced as a result of the gap that is left when the loved one passed on becomes apparent, and the grieving individual questions whether he/she would be able to live a happy life without the deceased. A common question asked at this point is, "Is there really a point in living?". It is important, however, to note that depression in this context does not refer to the mental disorder but rather strong feelings of sadness and hopelessness. •
Acceptance – After some time, the individual might adjust to life without the deceased. At this point, the individual might make the conclusion that this is a reality that he/she would have to manage, and make an effort to engage in new hobbies, activities, or create new memories with other friends and family members who are good emotional support to the grieving person. Acceptance does not come easily and may not ever happen for some people. Losing someone important in your life can disrupt brain and biological rhythms. •
Impact: shock, denial, anxiety, fear, and panic. •
Chaos: confusion, disbelief, actions out of control, irrational thoughts and feelings, feeling despair, feeling helpless, desperate searching, losing track of time, difficulty sleeping and eating, obsessive focus on the loved one and their possessions, agony from imagining their physical harm, shattered beliefs. •
Adapting: bringing order back into daily life while you continue to grieve: take care of basic needs (personal grooming, shopping, cooking, cleaning, paying bills), learn to live without the loved one, accept help, focus on helping children cope, connect with other grieving families for mutual support, take control of grieving so that grief does not control you, slowly accept the new reality. •
Equilibrium: attaining stability and routines: reestablish a life that works alright, enjoy pleasant activities with family members and good times with friends, do productive work, choose a positive new direction in life while honoring the past, learn how to handle people who ask questions about what you've been through. •
Transformation: rethinking your purpose in life and the basis for your identity; looking for meaning in tragic, senseless loss; allowing yourself to have both painful and positive feelings about your loss and become able to choose which feelings you focus on; allowing yourself to discover that your struggle has led you to develop a stronger, better version of yourself than you expected could exist; learning how to talk with others about your heroic healing journey without exposing them to your pain; becoming supportive of others trying to deal with their losses. == Grief therapy ==