There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variation is prevalent in the sequence of rituals comprising the ceremony. There is also considerable flexibility within each ritual. Variation reflects family traditions, local traditions, resources of the families and other factors. Three key rituals predominate, as follows. Two are
yajna. {{clarify | "groom usually leads": really? Or is this how it goes in the Long Form? For the Short Form, the account in the relevant subsection gives the opposite impression. All the examples of regional usage there has the bride leading at least the first circuit.
Kanyadana The
Kanyadana ceremony is performed by the bride's father.
Who offered this maiden? to whom is she offered? Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her Love is the giver, love is the acceptor Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love With love then, I receive thee May she remain thine, thine own, O God of love Verily, thou art, prosperity itself May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the bride in his pursuit of
dharma (moral and lawful life),
artha (wealth) and
kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of
dharma,
artha and
kama. This repeated promise by the groom marks the end of the
kanyadaan ritual in the Hindu wedding.
Panigrahana during a Hindu wedding The ritual of
Panigrahana comes after
Kanyadana. It is sometimes preceded by the
vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual) is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal element of the Hindu marriage ceremony. The couple conduct seven circuits of the
Holy Fire (
Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ritual. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. In Central India and
Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps: :
We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled.
Saptapadi – long form The long form of
Saptapadi starts with a preface announced by the priest, introducing a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other, as follows. With the completion of the seventh step the two become husband and wife. ;Priest's preface
The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph. ;Step 1 Groom's vow:
Oh!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. Oh! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food. Bride's vow:
Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well. ;Step 2 Groom's vow:
Oh!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. Oh! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being. Bride's vow:
Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving. ;Step 3 Groom's vow:
Oh!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. Oh! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth. Bride's vow:
Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family. ;Step 4 Groom's vow:
Oh!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. Oh! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world. Bride's vow:
Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family. ;Step 5 Groom's vow:
Oh!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. Oh! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle. Bride's vow:
Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee, and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness. ;Step 6 Groom's vow:
Oh!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. Oh! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life. Bride's vow: ''Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.'' ;Step 7 Groom's vow:
Oh friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife. Bride's vow:
Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart. Vakdaanam Hindu wedding. This step is a part of Kanya Varanam, where the groom-to-be (brahmachari) sends two elders on his behalf to the father of a girl whom he wishes to marry. The elders convey the message of the brahmachari and ask for the daughter's hand. The two mantras in the form of brahmachari's appeal to intercede on his behalf come from Rg 10.32.1 ("pra sugmantha...") and 10.85.23. The first mantra begs the elders to proceed and return quickly with success back from their mission on his behalf. The second mantram ("anruksharaa Rjava:...") asks for the gods' blessings for the elders' safe journey to the house of the father of the would-be-bride. The mantra prays to Aryama and Bhaga for a marriage full of harmony. The father accedes to the request of the elders and the resulting agreement for betrothal (formal engagement to be married; engagement.)is known as vaak daanam.
Vara Prekshanam In this ritual, the bridegroom and the bride look at each other formally for the first time. The bridegroom worries about any doshas (defects) that the bride might have and prays to the gods Varuna, Brihaspati, Indra and Surya to remove every defect and to make her fit for harmonious and long marriage life blessed with progeny and happiness (mantra: Rg 10.85.44). The bride groom recites the mantra and wipes the eyebrows of the bride with a blade of darbha grass, to symbolize the removal of defects. The darbha grass is thrown behind the bride at the conclusion of this ceremony. The Bridegroom shall stand facing the east. The Bride shall stand facing the north. The bride (offering the seat or Asana), shall address the bridegroom as follows: The bride: AUM, The noble one may accept and take the seat. The bridegroom: AUM, I am taking my seat. (ॐ प्रातिग्रहनामी) The bride shall take her seat to the right of the bridegroom. The bridegroom performs the Achamana and Angasparsha with water. All Hindu religious ceremonies begin with two observances, namely Achaman or sipping a small quantity of water and angasparsha or touching one's limbs with one's right hand middle two fingers with a little water. Achaman is purificatory and conducive to peaceful attitude of mind. Angasparsha is intended to pray for
physical strength and alertness. Achaman and Angasparsha are performed with the aid of Mantras.
Ardhāsana ceremony This ritual originates from South India and places the groom and bride welcoming their respective families together to witness the exchange of testimonies accompanied with a simultaneous exchange of rings' or necklaces'. The groom and bride then sit next to each other making prayers to seek the blessings of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva for eternal happiness for themselves and their families.
Madhuparka ceremony Holding with his left hand a cup of Madhuparka (composed of
honey,
curd and
ghee or
clarified butter), after removing the cover and looking at the Madhuparka, The bridegroom says: May the breeze be sweet as honey; may the streams flow full of honey and may the herbs and plants be laden with honey for us! May the nights be honey-sweet for us; may the mornings be honey-sweet for us and may the heavens be honey-sweet for us! May the plants be honey-sweet for us; may the sun be all honey for us and may the cows yield us honey-sweet milk! "Honey-sweet", in this case, means pleasant, advantageous, and conducive to happiness. The bridegroom shall pour out the Madhuparka into three cups and then partake a little of it from each of the cups reciting the following Mantra: The bridegroom: The honey is the sweetest and the best. May I have food as sweet and health-giving as this honey and may I be able to relish it!
Presentation of a ceremonial cow The bride's father symbolically offers to the bridegroom a cow as a present. The cow is regarded as a symbol of the deity
Kamadhenu. In olden times sons-in-law received real cows as gifts, since that was the most precious asset with which a newly wedded couple could start life. This part of the tradition has been preserved by a symbolical presentation. At the conclusion of the first part of the ceremony, it is customary to present gifts to the bride. The bridegroom presents the bride with gifts of clothing and jewellery thereby acknowledging his lifelong duty to provide her with the necessities of life. The father of the bride, offering to the bridegroom the present of a cow, a finger-ring or some other suitable article says: The father of the bride: AUM, (Please) accept these presents. The bridegroom: AUM, I accept (these presents).
Mangalasnanam and the wearing of the wedding clothes by the bride on the bride's forehead and hair parting, to signify the marriage. Five Veda mantras are recited to sanctify the bride in preparation for the subsequent stages of the marriage. This aspect of the marriage is known as mangalasnanam. The sun god (Surya), water god (Varuna), and other gods are invoked to purify the bride in preparation for a harmonious married life. Next, the bride wears the marriage clothes to the accompaniment of additional Veda mantras. The bridegroom then ties a darbha rope around the waist of the bride and leads her to the place, where the sacred fire is located for conducting the rest of the marriage ceremony. The bride and the groom sit on a new mat in front of the fire. The groom recites three mantras which invoke Soma, Gandharva and Agni to confer strength, beauty, and youth on the bride.
Mangalya Dharanam (marriage thread) around the bride's neck, to signify the marriage. There is no Veda Mantram for tying the
mangalasutram (auspicious thread) around the neck of the bride by the groom. The latter takes the mangala sutram in his hands and recites the following verse: kanThe bandhaami subhage twam jeeva saradaam satam || This is a sacred thread. This is essential for my long life. I tie this around your neck, O maiden having many auspicious attributes! May you live happily for a hundred years (with me). As soon as the groom ties the knot, the family members, friends, and audience throw flower petals and rice grains, for a celebratory visual effect and to bless the couple.
Pradhaana Homam or Jayadi Homamam bride & groom at their wedding, after the flowers are thrown at the couple during the
mangalya dharanam (mangalasutra tying) ceremony. After
sapta padi, the couple take their seat on the western side of the sacred fire and conduct
pradhaana homam. During the conductance of this
homam, the bride must place her right hand on her husband's body so that she gets the full benefit of the
homam through symbolic participation. Sixteen mantras are recited to the accompaniment of pouring a spoon of clarified butter into the sacred fire at the end of recitation of each of the mantras. These mantras salute Soma, Gandharva, Agni, Indra, Vayu, the Aswini Devas, Savita, Brihaspati, Viswa Devas and Varuna for blessing the marriage and beseeches them to confer long wedded life, health, wealth, children and freedom from all kinds of worries. One prayer—the sixth mantra—has a sense of humor and provides deep insight into human psychology. The text of this mantra is: "
daSaasyam putraan dehi, patim ekaadaSam kRti". Here, the groom asks Indra to bless the couple with ten children and requests that he be blessed to become the eleventh child of his bride in his old age.
Ashmarohanam (stepping on the grinding stone) After pradhaana homam, the husband holds the right toe of his wife and lifts her leg and places it on a flat granite grinding stone known as "ammi" in Tamil. The ammi stands at the right side of the sacred fire. The husband recites a Veda mantra when he places the right foot of his wife on the ammi: May you stand on this firm stone. May you be rock-firm during your stay on this grinding stone. May you stand up to those who oppose you while you carry out your time-honored responsibilities as a wife sanctioned by the Vedas and tradition. May you develop tolerance to your enemies and put up a fair fight to defend your legitimate rights as the head of the household in a firm manner, equal to the steady strength of this grinding stone. Some traditions mention to wear two silver ring on the either toes of bride by the bridegroom at this time.
Laaja Homam After ammi stepping, a ceremony of doing homam with parched rice (
laja) is conducted. Here, the wife cups her hands and the brothers of the bride fill the cupped hands with parched rice. The husband adds a drop of
ghee to the parched rice and recites five Veda mantras. At the end of each of the recitation, the parched rice is thrown into the sacred fire as
haves (offering) to Agni. Through these mantras, the wife prays for long life for her husband and for a marriage filled with peace and harmony. At the end of the
laaja homam, the husband unties the
darbha belt around the waist of his wife with another mantra. The husband states through this mantra that he unites his wife and ties her now with the bonds of Varuna and invites her to be a full partner in his life to enjoy the blessings of wedded life.
Griha Pravesam This ceremony relates to the journey of the wife to her husband's home. The husband carries the sacred fire (
home agni) in an earthenware vessel during this journey home. There are many Veda mantras associated with this journey. These mantras pray to the appropriate Vedic gods to remove all obstacles that one can experience in a journey. The bride is requested to become the mistress of the house and is reminded of her important role among the relatives of her husband. After reaching her new home, she puts her right foot first in the house and recites the following Veda mantra:
Praavisya Homam After
griha pravesam, a fire ritual known as
praavisya homam is performed by the couple to the accompaniment of thirteen Veda mantras from the
Rg Veda.
Jayaadi homam is also part of the
praavisya homam. This homam offers the salutation of the newly married couple to Agni Deva and asks for strength and nourishment to discharge the duties of a
grihasthas for the next one hundred years. After that, the bride shifts her position from the right side of her husband to his left side. At that time, once again, she recites a Veda mantra invoking the gods for blessings of children and wealth to perform the duties of a householder. At the end of the above homam, a child is placed on the lap of the bride and she offers a fruit to the child, while reciting a prescribed Veda mantra. Yet another mantram asks the assembled guests to bless the bride and then retire to their own individual homes peacefully. During the first evening of the stay in her new home, the couple see the stars known as
Dhruva (pole star) and
Arundhati. The husband points out the pole star and prays for the strength and stability of the household through a Veda mantra. Next, the husband points out the Arundhati star to his wife and describes to her the story of Arundhati and her legendary chastity. The rich and meaningful ceremony of the Hindu marriage (Kalyana Mahotsavam of the temples) is thus carried out in concert with sacred Veda Mantras. The bride and bridegroom should enunciate clearly the Veda mantras and reflect on their meanings during the different stages of the marriage ceremony. This way, they can be sure of a long, happy and prosperous married life and play their appropriate role in society to the fullest extent. Srinivasa Kalyanam is performed in the temples to remind us of these age old Vedic traditions behind a Hindu marriage. lokA: samastA: sukhino bhavantu sarva mangaLaani santu
Nishekam Also called
Suhaag Raat (wedding night), It is the samskara done before the couple enters their bedroom.
Nishekam means the couple's first consummation. In
South India they do
Nishekam on a suitable date according to astrology or
jyotisha. Whereas in
North India and
East India they do it on the fourth day of the marriage.
Paraskara Grihya Sutram of
Shukla Yajurveda mentions to conduct it on the fourth night in the prescribed room of the couple. It's otherwise called
Chaturthi Karma. ==Rituals performed==