Relationships and family Wainwright's first marriage, to singer-songwriter
Kate McGarrigle, ended in divorce. During their marriage, they had two children:
Rufus and
Martha, both of whom are musicians. Wainwright later had a relationship with singer
Suzzy Roche, during which they had a daughter,
Lucy Wainwright Roche, who is also a musician. The relationship ended, although Wainwright and Suzzy Roche remain on good terms and occasionally appear onstage together, sometimes with Lucy. Wainwright's second marriage was to Ritamarie Kelly, and the couple lived in Los Angeles. This marriage also ended in divorce. They have a daughter, Alexandra (Lexie) Kelly Wainwright (born 1993). Since 2015, Wainwright has lived with
Susan Morrison, an editor at
The New Yorker.
Mutual inspiration for songs Wainwright's first wife, Kate McGarrigle, wrote her song "Go Leave" about him. In it, she recounts how in the 1970s, he, her then-husband, ran off to Europe with performance artist
Penny Arcade. McGarrigle, who was pregnant at the time with what would have been their third child, traveled from Canada to England in search of him. After finding him, she lost the baby, and Wainwright informed her that he was leaving her. Their daughter, Martha, has said that it is "the most gut-wrenchingly painful song ever. At the end, you hear the sound of a tear falling on to a string of her guitar. I used to listen to it as a child and cry my eyes out". Rufus has written the song "
Dinner at Eight" about his conflicted relationship with his father. Martha and her father sang a duet on "Father Daughter Dialogue" (on Loudon's 1995 album,
Grown Man) and collaborated on the song "You Never Phone" (on Loudon's 2003 live album,
So Damn Happy). Wainwright's songs inspired by his first daughter, Martha, are "That Hospital" (about visiting a hospital during her gestation for an attempted abortion) "Pretty Little Martha" (about her as an infant), "Five Years Old" (about missing her fifth birthday), the confessional "Hitting You" (about assaulting her), the duet "Father/Daughter Dialogue", and "I'd Rather Be Lonely". In 2005, Martha told
The Guardian, "For most of my childhood Loudon talked to me in song, which is a bit of a shitty thing to do, especially as he always makes himself come across as funny and charming while the rest of us seem like whining victims, and we can't tell our side of the story. As a result he has a daughter who smokes and drinks too much and writes songs with titles like 'Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole'." Regarding "Hitting You", Wainwright has said, "I would never forget that event, that incident... hauling off and whacking my kid...it's not something I would ever forget. There was an interesting song there". Martha had originally presumed that "I'd Rather Be Lonely" was about an old girlfriend and was shocked when Wainwright told an audience that it was about her. She revealed that she "always felt terribly sorry for the poor woman I thought it was about because of the line: 'Every time I see you cry you're just a clone of every woman I've known'. Then one time I was on tour with Loudon and he said to the crowd: 'I wrote this song about my daughter'. I had no idea. We lived together for one year in New York when I was 14 and it was a disaster, and 'I'd Rather Be Lonely' was about that year. He really crossed the line there". ==Discography==