Marriage in Islam

In the Hans Wehr Dictionary of Modern Written Arabic, is defined as "marriage; marriage contract; matrimony, wedlock". In the Quran, nikah is used to refer to the contract of marriage. According to at least a couple of sources -- Ibrahim B. Syed and the Ahlan Foundation -- the Quran also uses "a strong agreement" (), in verse Q.4:21, to refer to marriage. In Arabic-speaking countries, marriage is commonly called zawāj (, from the Quranic term zawj (), referring to a member of a pair), and this term has recently gained currency among Muslim speakers of other languages as well. The marriage contract is known by different names: • ʿaqd al-qirān Literary Arabic: '''', "matrimony contract"; • '''' / ALA-LC; • akd, ; • ezdevāj, "marriage" and or sǎnǎde ezdevāj aqd nāmeh (, ) for the certificate. The marriage celebration may be called • ʿurs / zawāj (), • ezdewaj/arusi (Persian), • shaadi (Urdu), • biye/biya (Bengali) • düğün (Turkish). == History ==

Before Islam In Arabia before the advent of Islam in the 7th century CE, a variety of different marriage practices existed. The most common and recognized types of marriage at this time were marriage by agreement, marriage by capture, marriage by mahr, marriage by inheritance, and ''mot'a'' or temporary marriage. In Mesopotamia, marriages were generally monogamous, except among male royalty, who would have harems consisting of wives and concubines. The Sasanian society followed Zoroastrianism, which viewed women to be possessions in marriage, although consent was required in both marriage and divorce. According to Islamic sources, most women in the pre-7th century Arabia had little control over their marriages and Islam brought a big improvement. They were bound by contract for marriage or custody of children, and their consent was rarely sought. Women were seldom allowed to divorce their husbands, and their view was not regarded for either a marriage or divorce. However, in the transitional age from non-Islamic to Islamic society, elite women could divorce and remarry without stigma. They were given the power to negotiate the terms of their marriage contract and could even initiate divorce. Under the Arabian Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic) law, Islamic sources write that no limitations were set on men's rights to marry or to obtain a divorce. Islamic law limited men to four wives at one time, not including slave concubines. () Additionally, a man was required to provide a suitable marriage gift for each wife and ensure financial support and separate housing for all. As a result, only wealthy men could historically afford to practice polygyny. The institution of marriage was refined into one in which the woman was somewhat of an interested partner. 'For example, the dower, previously regarded as a bride-price paid to the father, became a nuptial gift retained by the wife as part of her personal property'. == Encouragement ==

As in many if not all religions, marriage is encouraged in Islam. • Verses from the Quran, indicate positive feelings towards marriage: "marry those among you who are single ..." (Q.24:32), "...Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts ..." (Q.25:74), " ...He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them..." (Q.30:21), "The love of the desires for women, sons, ... has been made attractive to people." (Q.3:14) “Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me"(Sunan Ibn Majah) • as part of the religion of the fitrah, • to fight the temptations of illicit sex (zina, a great sin in Islam), "Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, ....'" (Sahih al-Bukhari), “Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire" (Sunan Ibn Majah). According to scholars, marriage in Islam provides a structure for the relationship between partners creating a family, and safeguards rights of members of the family (Ahlan Foundation, Ahmad Dogarawa). Marrying within the Muslim community and creating a “productive and constructive" family where members help and encourage one and other to "be good and righteous", helps to preserve the religion (Ahmad Dogarawa). is considered a "blessing", a source of stability, the foundation for families. By regulating sexual desire marriage prevents it from destabilizing the community, in the eyes of religious scholars of Islamic law. In a patrilineal society, where a person's social status is defined by their father's lineage, marriage was a crucial institution for controlling reproduction and ensuring that children were properly recognized and claimed (Judith E. Tucker). == Conditions ==

There are several conditions for an Islamic marriage to take place: Marriage contract , India bride signing a marriage certificate Islamic marriage is based on a contract (ʿaqd al-qirān, nikah nama, etc.) between man and wife. Mahr All Islamic marriage contracts include a '', (donatio propter nuptias''), a mandatory sum of wealth provided to the bride by the groom which should be agreed upon before the nikah, and paid to the bride by the groom at the time of nikah unless they have agreed to delay the time of some of its payment. The mahr is for her exclusive use. If the marriage contract fails to contain an exact, specified mahr, the husband must still pay the wife a judicially determined sum. Mahr functions similar to bride wealth. The mahr is important for the wife in case of divorce. (The value of a mahr varies widely. It is often measured in coins with the equivalent weight of 3 grams of silver.) There is no joint marital property in an Islamic marriage. Other conditions may be included in the contract, such as whether the husband taking a second, third, etc. wife, is grounds for divorce. Consent of bride Whether the bride must give her consent to marry and how she does, varies according to school of jurisprudence, whether the bride is a virgin, or a minor. • The Shafi'i school of jurisprudence do allow compulsion in marriage if the daughter is a virgin and is for her benefit. Shafi'i recommends strongly that daughters who are no longer minors be consulted before being married. (If the bride is a virgin and is silent when asked if she consents to the marriage, that may be taken as her agreement to marry.) According to Al-Masaa’il Al-Maardeeniyyah, by Ibn Taymiyyah. Malak was one of the scholars who ruled that a father may force his virgin daughter who attained puberty to marry. • According to Shi'i mujtahid and marja' Khomeini and Ali al-Sistani, the marriage is invalid without the bride's free consent and no obligation can make marriage official and legal. Wali Most Sunni schools of jurisprudence (Hanbali, Shafi'i, and Maliki) require a (male guardian, who if representing a bride is called a ) to represent a virginal woman in marriage. In most schools of Islamic law, only the father or the paternal grandfather of the bride can be . However, in the absence of these, other male relatives such as the bride's brother, uncle, or even a male guardian appointed by a shariah court or the imam of a mosque may act as the walī, depending on the circumstances. • One Sunni school of jurisprudence (a fourth school) -- Hanafi -- does not require a wali for a bride to become married, even if it is her first marriage. Therefore, the marriage contract is signed between the bride and the groom, not the groom and the wali. Other conditions • Both partners must either be chaste, or if one or more of them have fornicated, they must have made a sincere repentance. • The bride/wife must be either Muslim or from "the People of the Book" (Jews, Sabians and Christians), but not a polytheist. For women, marriage to anyone but a Muslim man is not permissible. • The spouse may not be a close relative unless it is a cousin, including first cousins. As cousins are not mahram. • Also forbidden to marry are those of the same sex, anyone who has had the same wetnurse feed them. • The nikah is required to be witnessed by two adult male Muslims from both sides (or one male and two female Muslims) in Sunni Islam for the contract to be valid. In Shia Islam witnesses to a nikah are mustahabb (recommended) but not wajib (required). ==Nikah ceremony==

Nikah (wedding) ceremonies vary by culture and religious schools in Islam, but some practices are shared. These include the presence of a male guardian () for the bride (usually her father); two male Muslim witnesses (or one male and two female; witnesses are required in Sunni Islam and recommended in Shia Islam); the offering of mahr (a gift from the groom to the bride); and freedom from any Islamic legal obstacles (such as the groom being non-Muslim). If the conditions are met and a and contract are agreed upon, an Islamic marriage ceremony, or wedding, can take place. Mutual consent is demonstrated in the form of a verbal exchange of acceptance (qubool, , , meaning 'I accept') and the signing of a marriage contract by the groom and either the bride or her wali. In addition to the qubool, there should be a recitation of the fatihah (the opening surah of the Quran); a recitation of a du’a asking for a blessing of the marriage; and a hadith about blessing marriages. in line with local customs or those of the couple. The walima may last a couple of hours, or precede the ceremony and conclude several days after. ==Contrast with civil marriage law==

While Islamic marriage contracts may be binding in Islamic law, they are not legally binding under civil law in non-Muslim countries where practices and concepts like polygamy and mahr are either not legal or not understood. Unless the couple wish to have a ''nikah 'urfi'', "customary" marriage, in a non-Muslim country they must register their marriage with a local government body. Registering a civil marriage is particularly important to Muslim women if anything goes wrong with the marriage. If, for example a Muslim man abandons his wife and their marriage is not registered, she may not have legal recourse to seek divorce or access financial support. (In one case in the 1960s, a Muslim woman who had been married with a mahr of well less than one year's income was divorced by Muslim husband after fourteen years of marriage and three children. An American court found in favor of the husband, that she was owed only her mahr and no portion of her psychiatrist-husband’s estate.) In the United States, Islamic centers often have authorized officiants who in addition to officiating a nikah ceremony can marry Muslims according to civil law, if the wedding party brings a marriage certificate from the county where the center is located. (Polygamous marriages excepted.) In the United Kingdom, weddings combining a legal marriage licence and nikah are less common and marriage problems may be dealt with by Sharia Councils, including the Islamic Sharia Council (ISC) and Muslim Arbitration Tribunal (MAT).(At least one fatwa site advises Muslims in the UK to "complete the civil marriage so that the marriage and rights arising from it are recognised".) In Australia, someone married according to nikah, a Nikah certificate is "an essential document" to legally recognize your marriage. In at least one Muslim country (Dubai), it is reportedly possible to marry with a nikah ceremony and then marry again in a civil ceremony, or vice versa, or find an imam authorized to do both simultaneously. In Muslim-majority countries, where the concept of mahr holds strong cultural and religious significance, it is typically recognized and enforceable through Islamic family courts, who are more likely to intervene in cases of non-payment or inadequate payment of mahr. In today's world, Muslims practice Islamic marital laws in a multitude of ways all over the globe. In the United States, for example, 95% of Muslim American couples included in a 2012 study by the Institute for Social Policy and Understanding (ISPU) had completed both the Nikah and had obtained a civil marriage license, which is required to have a marriage legally recognized in the United States. The study also shares that "In some cases, the Islamic marriage contract is completed once the couple has decided to get married, but cohabitation occurs later after the wedding reception. In other cases, the Islamic marriage contract is completed simultaneously with the civil marriage and is followed immediately by the wedding reception." When it comes to divorce, the 2014 study conducted by the ISPU states that, "Two divorce rates commonly cited for American Muslims include 32.33% and 21.3%, respectively." Within the United States and Canada, many Muslim couples interviewed in the study mention that they value a religious divorce and its proceedings. Some turn to religious figures to help them navigate the divorce process, while many still go through the courts to terminate the civil marriage. Divorced Muslim women today also face the stigmas associated with being divorced within the North American Muslim community that can make it difficult for them seek remarriage. Gender roles and ideas about marriage have also shifted since the early onset of Islam when many of the rules around marriage were established. ISPU reports that "the most frequent source of marital conflict in this study was conflict over changing gender roles and expectations," citing a nation-wide increase in women in higher education and professional jobs over the past three decades, and says that they "In many cases are trying to integrate childrearing and family life with professional goals". ==Spousal roles, rights and obligations==

Islam advocates a role-based relationship between husband and wife, where the husband has the main responsibility of earning and the wife of taking care of children. Fatwa and works on Islamic marriage often mention virtues such as "tranquility, love and mercy"; "kindness and patience"; "love, mercy, kindness and mutual respect"; "love, mercy, understanding and aiming to please Allah"; that are to be shown by each partner to the other. As a Sahih al-Bukhari hadith narrated by Abd Allah ibn Umar states: == Polygamy ==

According to the Shariah (Law) and the Quran, Muslim men are allowed to practice polygyny, taking up to four legal wives. The warning against injustice to the husband is interpreted to mean treating all wives equally -- emotionally as well as financially. A bride-to-be may also include terms in her marriage contract that require monogamy for her husband or require her consent before he marries another wife. Other verses prohibit marriage to a close relative of any of the multiple wives (a wife's sister, daughter, mother, niece, aunt, etc.). Polygamy is legal, (though often with restrictions), in most Muslim majority countries and most African countries, and illegal most everywhere else. ==Unconventional marriages==

In addition to the traditional marriages there are some Islamic marriages that lack some of the customary rights and obligations: Nikah mut'ah Nikah mut'ah is a fixed-term marriage known as ("temporary marriage"). It is a private and verbal temporary marriage contract in which the duration of the marriage and the mahr must be specified and agreed upon in advance. It is practiced only in Twelver Shi'ism and is most prominent in Iran where it is legal. Before the 1979 Iranian Revolution, Nikah mut'ah (commonly known as Sigheh in Iran) was practiced covertly by very few, until the revolutionary leaders reintroduced it to society. Nikah mut'ah was encouraged through media targeting young adults, justified by the idea that men required an outlet for sexual desire while maintaining morality through marriage. According to Shahla Haeri's ethnographic study, ''Law of Desire: temporary marriage in Shi'i Iran'', Nikah mut'ah may be pursued for a variety of reasons. In the context of a government that regulates male-female interactions, these include allowing people of opposite sex to "date" and work or travel together. Of note, Nikah mut'ah allows for a non-sexual clause unlike traditional Nikah. This fosters unique uses of Nikah mut'ah unintended by the legalization. Specifically, Haeri mentions a neighborhood that created an arrangement of temporary marriages with nonsexual clauses so that the mahram could loosen on restrictions on male-female contact like veiling for women. Nikah Misyar Nikah Misyar is permanent and permitted by some Sunni scholars, but lacks some conventional conditions such as living together. Most misyar brides don't change their residences but pursue marital relations on a visitation basis. Because the practice relieves the misyar husband of the obligation to support his wife, it is often used in some Islamic countries by men who cannot afford an orthodox marriage, and/or wish to give a legal recognition to behavior that might otherwise be considered adulterous. Nikah 'urfi Nikah 'urfi is a "customary" marriage contract, meaning it is not registered with state authorities. It commonly requires a Wali (Islamic legal guardian) and witnesses and usually involves a written document stating that the couple are married, with their signatures and those of two witnesses, although the commitment may be documented by a recording on a cassette tape. Some explanations for not registering a marriage include avoiding pensions lost when a widow remarries, avoiding the high cost of formal marriages that young couples (such as students) cannot afford, avoiding bans on child marriage. == Iddah ==

In Islam, a woman cannot marry for a certain period after a divorce or the death of her husband. This period of waiting is known as iddah or iddat (), which means "to count", the number of days after death or divorce is what is being counted. One of its main purposes is to remove any doubt as to the paternity of a child born after the divorce or death of the prior husband. The length of ‘iddah varies according to a number of circumstances. Generally, the ‘iddah of a divorced woman is the length of her three menstrual cycles, but if the marriage was not consummated there is no ‘iddah. For a woman whose husband has died, the ‘iddah is four lunar months and ten days (i.e. about 128 days) after the death of her husband, whether or not the marriage was consummated. If a woman is pregnant when she is widowed or divorced, the ‘iddah lasts until she gives birth. Islamic scholars consider this directive to be a balance between mourning of husband's death and protecting the widow from criticism that she might be subjected to from remarrying too quickly after her husband’s death. This is also to ascertain whether a woman is pregnant or not, since four and a half months is half the length of a normal pregnancy. == Divorce ==

Divorce in Islam can take a variety of forms, some initiated by the husband and some initiated by the wife. The theory and practice of divorce in the Islamic world have varied according to time and place. The main categories of Islamic customary law of divorce are talaq (repudiation), khulʿ (mutual divorce) and faskh (dissolution of marriage before the Religious Court). Historically, the rules of divorce were governed by the Sharia, as interpreted by traditional Islamic jurisprudence (fiqh). There were several different schools of jurisprudence (madhhab), The Qur'an encourages cooperation in marriage, this is done by giving specific rules to follow. One verse says "Consort with them honorably; or if you are averse to them, it is possible that you may be averse to a thing, and God set in it much good". Divorce could lead to women losing their morality or purity if certain values were not followed correctly. The Qur'an exemplifies that divorce is not meant to be the man getting back at the woman. It is to allow the man and the woman to peacefully split up for the good of each other. It also allows for multiple remarriages between the same couple. The couple can divorce and get back together up to two times but after the second remarriage, the divorce is final and there are no more remarriages allowed. The reason the man typically gets the right to divorce is that his judgment is thought to be more balanced than a woman's. Again, the only reason the woman can ask for a divorce is if there is something significantly wrong with the man. Divorce was supposed to be reserved as a last resort and not something that was used for harm or for trivial disagreements. The Qur'an says, "Divorce must be pronounced twice and then (a woman) must be retained in honor or released in kindness", which exemplifies that it was supposed to be honorable for both man and woman if it needed to be done. It was not taken lightly, and it was a big decision for both parties. ==Behavior within marriage==

Living with inlaws The wife has the right to live in separate accommodation with her husband and children, if she does not want to share it with anyone like her in-law or relatives. This is the view of most of the Hanafi, Shaafa'i and Hanbali scholars of fiqh. She also has the right to refuse to live with her husband's father, mother and siblings. Narrated Abdullah bin Umar: That he heard Allah's Apostle saying, This indicates that a wife is responsible for the house of her husband. Also that a man should be the guardian of his family, i.e., after his marriage he moves out of his father's house, and runs his own family affairs and is guardian of his family. In a joint family, typically the head is either the father of the husband, or mother of the husband. This also indicates that a husband should look after his parents' house, as "a man is a guardian of his father's property". So the wife should not object to her husband when he is looking after affairs of his parents. Sexuality Sexuality in Islam is largely described by the Qur'an, Islamic tradition, and religious leaders both past and present as being confined to marital relationships between men and women, and between slave owners and enslaved females. While most traditions discourage celibacy, all encourage strict chastity and modesty (see haya) with regards to any relationships across gender lines, holding forth that intimacy as perceived within Islam (encompassing a swath of life more broad than strictly sex) is to be reserved for marriage. Abd Allah ibn Mas'ud narrated: While adulterous relationships are strictly forbidden, permissible sexual relationships within marriage are described in Islamic sources as great wells of love and closeness for the couple involved. Sexual relationship between married couples are even source of rewards from God as doing the opposite, i.e., satisfying sexual needs through illicit means, has punishment. Specific occasions (most notably daytime fasting (see sawm) and menstruation) are times forbidden for intercourse, though not for other ways of touching and being close to one another. Anal sex with one's wife is also strictly prohibited. So long as it is within marriage, free of lewdness, fornication and adultery, Islam has sometimes been described as having an open and playful approach to sex. == See also ==