Kane was born at the family home on August 28, 1844, in
Newport, Rhode Island. She was the second youngest of eight children born to Oliver DeLancey Kane and Louisa Dorothea (
née Langdon). Kane's brothers were Walter Langdon Kane,
John Innes Kane,
DeLancey Astor Kane,
S. Nicholson Kane, and
Woodbury Kane. Her sisters were the artist Louisa Langdon Kane, and Emily Astor Kane (who married
Augustus Jay and was the mother of
Peter Augustus Jay). She was a granddaughter of Walter Langdon and Dorothea (née Astor) of the
Astor family and a great-granddaughter of
John Jacob Astor. Kane was also a cousin of Lt. Col.
John Jacob Astor IV.) was living at Sharyvogne, his estate in
Dutchess County, which was confiscated after the War due to his
Loyalist times. His eldest son, John Jr., stayed and became one of the most prominent merchants in New York. ==Society life==