The film is a
parody of the
epic film genre, including the
sword and sandal epic and the
period costume drama subgenres. The four main segments consist of stories set during the
Stone Age, the
Roman Empire, the
Spanish Inquisition, and the
French Revolution. Other intermediate skits include reenactments of the giving of the
Ten Commandments and the
Last Supper.
The Stone Age Cavemen (including
Sid Caesar) depict the invention of fire, the first artist (which in turn gives rise to the first
critic), the first marriages (
heterosexual and then
homosexual), primitive weapons (particularly spears), and the first funerals. Also depicted are early attempts at comedy and music, by smashing each other's feet with rocks and thus creating an orchestra of howls.
The Old Testament Moses (
Mel Brooks) comes down from
Mount Sinai carrying three stone tablets, having received the Law from
God (the voice of an uncredited
Carl Reiner). As Moses announces the giving of the Law to the people, he accidentally drops one of the tablets, which shatters, and he "corrects" his proclamation from 15
Commandments to 10.
The Roman Empire Comicus (Brooks) is a "stand-up philosopher", dispensing wisdom in the style of a
stand-up comedian. He is notified by his agent Swiftus (
Ron Carey) that he has landed a gig at Caesar's palace. En route, he meets and falls in love with a
Vestal Virgin named Miriam (
Mary-Margaret Humes) and befriends an
Ethiopian slave named Josephus (
Gregory Hines). Josephus is
conscripted into the service of the Empress Nympho (
Madeline Kahn). Comicus performs for Emperor
Nero (
Dom DeLuise), unwisely joking about the emperor's weight and corruption. Josephus absentmindedly pours a jug of wine into Nero's lap, and they are ordered to perform a
gladiatorial fight to the death. They instead fight their way out of the palace, assisted by Miriam and Empress Nympho. Comicus, Josephus, and Swiftus briefly take refuge in Nympho's palace, posing as
eunuch guards. When Josephus' visible arousal exposes them both as imposters, they are chased by soldiers led by Marcus Vindictus (
Shecky Greene). They escape in a cart pulled by a horse named Miracle, lighting a huge
marijuana joint to put the pursuing soldiers into a stupor. They sail to
Judea, where Comicus takes a job waiting tables, and blunders into a private room where Jesus is having the
Last Supper with his disciples. Comicus interrupts
Jesus (
John Hurt) repeatedly (using his name in the modern sense, as an interjection).
Leonardo da Vinci (
Art Metrano) arrives to paint the
group's portrait, directing them to all sit on the same side of the table, with Comicus behind Jesus, where his raised platter looks like a
halo.
The Spanish Inquisition The
Spanish Inquisition segment parodies a grandiose
Busby Berkeley-style production, consisting of an extended song-and-dance number featuring Brooks as the infamous
Torquemada. The sequence opens with a herald introducing Torquemada and making a play on his name; despite pleas for mercy from the condemned, "you can't Torquemada anything" (talk him outta anything). Instances of comical
torture include
auto-da-fé, a spinning
iron maiden, and "
water torture" re-imagined with nuns performing an
Esther Williams-style aquatic ballet.
Jackie Mason and
Ronny Graham supply cameos as
Jewish torture victims.
The French Revolution In her Paris tavern,
Madame Defarge (
Cloris Leachman) incites a mob to plot the
French Revolution. Meanwhile, King Louis of France (Brooks) is warned by his advisors, Count de Monet (
Harvey Korman) and
Béarnaise (
Andreas Voutsinas), that the peasants do not think he likes them — a suspicion reinforced by the king's use of peasants as
targets in a game of
skeet. A beautiful woman, Mademoiselle Rimbaud (
Pamela Stephenson), asks King Louis to free her father, who has been imprisoned in the
Bastille for 10 years, which he agrees to only if she will have sex with him that night. De Monet persuades King Louis to go into hiding, and look-alike Jacques (also Brooks) – whose job is to hold buckets for the aristocrats to urinate into – is chosen to impersonate the king as a decoy. That night, Rimbaud visits Jacques – believing him to be Louis – to consummate the deal to free her father, but he pardons him without requiring sexual favors. After Rimbaud and her
senile father (
Spike Milligan) return from the prison, peasants burst into the room and take "King" Jacques to the
guillotine. When Rimbaud exclaims that "only a miracle can save him", Josephus
inexplicably arrives in the cart pulled by Miracle, and they escape, riding off toward a mountain carved with the words
THE END.
Previews of coming attractions The end of the film presents a mock
teaser trailer for
History of the World, Part II, "coming soon". The trailer is narrated by Brooks, and shows clips of segments "
Hitler on
Ice", "A
Viking Funeral", and "Jews in Space" (a parody of
Star Wars). ==Cast==