Marital harmony Marital harmony, known as (), is valued in Jewish tradition. The Talmud states that a man should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and honour her more than he honours himself; indeed, one who honours his wife was said, by the classical rabbis, to be rewarded with wealth. Similarly, a husband was expected to discuss with his wife any worldly matters that might arise in his life. and
domestic abuse by him was also condemned. to this end, an early
midrash states that a wife should not leave the home "too frequently". A wife, also, was expected to be
modest, even when alone with her husband. God's presence dwells in a pure and loving home.
Conjugal rights and obligations Marriage obligations and rights in
Judaism are ultimately based on those apparent in the
Bible, which have been clarified, defined, and expanded on by many
prominent rabbinic authorities throughout history. Traditionally, the obligations of the husband include providing for his wife. He is obligated to provide for her sustenance for her benefit; in exchange, he is also entitled to her income. However, this is a right to the wife, and she can release her husband of the obligation of sustaining her, and she can then keep her income exclusively for herself. The document that provides for this is the . The Bible itself gives the wife protections, as per Exodus 21:10, although the rabbis may have added others later. The rights of the husband and wife are described in tractate in the Talmud, which explains how the rabbis balanced the two sets of rights of the wife and the husband. According to the non-traditional view, in the Bible the wife is treated as a possession owned by her husband, but later Judaism imposed several obligations on the husband, effectively giving the wife several rights and freedoms; and is entitled to keep any additional advantages she had as a result of her social status before her marriage. Early nomadic communities practised a form of marriage known as , in which a wife would own a tent of her own, within which she retains complete independence from her husband; this principle appears to survive in parts of early Israelite society, as some early passages of the Bible appear to portray certain wives as each owning a tent as a personal possession
Sarah, and Jacob's wives). In later times, the Bible describes wives as being given the innermost room(s) of the husband's house, as her own private area to which men were not permitted; in the case of wealthy husbands, the Bible describes their wives as having each been given an entire house for this purpose. It was not, however, a life of complete freedom. The descriptions of the Bible suggest that a wife was expected to perform certain household tasks: spinning, sewing, weaving, manufacture of clothing, fetching of water, baking of bread, and
animal husbandry. The
Book of Proverbs contains an entire
acrostic about the duties which would be performed by a virtuous wife. The husband, too, is indirectly implied to have responsibilities to his wife. The
Torah obligates a man to not deprive his wife of food, clothing, or of sexual activity (); if the husband does not provide the first wife with these things, she is to be divorced, without cost to her. The Talmud interprets this as a requirement for a man to provide food and clothing to, and have sex with, each of his wives, even if he only has one. As a society, the Israelites did not have any laws which imposed
monogamy on men.
Adulterous married and betrothed women, as well as their male accomplices, were subject to the
death penalty by the
biblical laws against adultery. According to the
Book of Numbers, if a woman was suspected of adultery, she was to be subjected to the
ordeal of the bitter water, a form of
trial by ordeal, but one that took a miracle to convict. The
literary prophets indicate that adultery was a frequent occurrence, despite their strong protests against it, and these legal strictnesses.
The Chatam Sofer, a prominent 19th century halachic decisor, argued that if a man could not provide his wife with this minimum, he should be compelled to divorce her; other Jewish rabbis argued that a man should be compelled to hire himself out, as a day-labourer, if he cannot otherwise make this provision to his wife. Similarly, they argued that if a wife had to take out a loan to pay for her sustenance during such absence, her husband had to pay the debt on his return. the wife was not required to do this if she wished to support herself. Traditionally, if the husband changed his usual abode, the wife was considered to have a duty to move with him. Most Jewish religious authorities held that a husband must allow his wife to eat at the same table as him, even if he gave his wife enough money to provide for herself.
Clothing The Talmud elaborates on the biblical requirement of the husband to provide his wife with clothing, by insisting that each year he must provide each wife with 50
zuzim's-worth of clothing, including garments appropriate to each
season of the year. (one pair for each of the three main annual festivals:
Passover,
Shabu'ot, and
Sukkoth). the burial must, in the opinion of the Talmud, be one conducted in a manner befitting the husband's social status, and in accordance with the local custom. According to the Talmud, and later rabbinic writers, if the husband was absent, or refused to do these things, a rabbinical court should arrange the wife's funeral, selling some of the husband's property in order to defray the costs. there is some debate whether the husband was required only to pay up to the wife's market value as a slave, or whether he must pay any ransom, even to the point of having to sell his possessions to raise the funds. • the woman had mistaken the paramour for her husband; These rules made it practically impossible to convict any woman of adultery; in nearly every case, women were acquitted. In
Talmudic times, once the death penalty was no longer enforced for any crime, even when a woman was convicted, the punishment was comparatively mild: adulteresses were flogged instead. according to
Maimonides, a conviction for adultery nullified any right that the wife's
marriage contract (Hebrew: ) gave her to a compensation payment for being divorced. Once divorced, an adulteress was not permitted, according to the Talmudic writers, to marry her paramour. As for men who committed adultery (with another man's wife),
Abba ben Joseph and
Abba Arika are both quoted in the Talmud as expressing abhorrence, and arguing that such men would be condemned to
Gehenna.
Family purity The laws of "family purity" () are considered an important part of an Orthodox Jewish marriage, and adherence to them is (in Orthodox Judaism) regarded as a prerequisite of marriage. This involves observance of the various details of the menstrual laws. Orthodox brides and grooms attend classes on this subject prior to the wedding. The niddah laws are regarded as an intrinsic part of marital life (rather than just associated with women). Together with a few other rules, including
those about the ejaculation of semen, these are collectively termed "family purity".
Sexual relations In marriage, conjugal relations are guaranteed as a fundamental right for a woman, along with food and clothing. This obligation is known as . Sex within marriage is the woman's right, and the man's duty. The husband is forbidden from raping his wife, they are not to be intimate while drunk or while either party is angry at the other. A woman should be granted a (divorce) if she seeks it because her husband is disgusting or loathsome to her. If either partner consistently refuses to participate, that person is considered rebellious, and the other spouse can sue for divorce. A very large number of Jewish texts attempting to regulate marital sexuality exist. This category can vary: it can mean a few biblical verse, chapters in medieval books of law, or self-standing modern traditional Jewish guides to marital sexuality. One should always remember that the fact a certain activity is recommended or forbidden, does not mean that in reality the advice is followed. We can know what generally traditional Jews were told to do or not to do in their bedrooms. We can very rarely know what actually happened. == Age of marriage ==