Wanda Von Kreesus A beautiful black-haired heiress to a multi-million-dollar fortune, 19-year-old Wanda Von
Kreesus was a "man-hating"
lesbian. She lived in an old castle called the Schloss (the German word for 'castle') on
Lake Zurich,
Switzerland, and ran a bank which, among other things, contained secrets that could bring down world governments. Her adventurous travels took her to such exotic locales as: •
Arabia •
Tibet •
Europe •
India •
New York City •
Hollywood •
Las Vegas •
Disneyland She also travelled through time, courtesy of a time machine, visiting
France during the
French Revolution,
England during the signing of
Magna Carta, and
Germany during
World War II, before briefly visiting the future and returning to the present. In later parts of the series, she would have a handful of male 'toys' whom she would use and abuse until they died of exhaustion, but her sexual preference was almost exclusively for women.
Candyfloss Candyfloss is a 16-year-old blonde
nymphet was originally sent as a "present" to Wanda's father, but his daughter claimed her as her own. Wanda encouraged her father to chase Candyfloss, resulting in his death from exhaustion and enabling Wanda to claim her inheritance. Wanda often called her "Pusscake", while Candyfloss' nickname for Wanda was "Boo'ful". The term "candyfloss" is the common UK name for "
cotton candy". Candyfloss was apparently
pansexual, having sex with anyone who came her way, much to Wanda's annoyance.
Automobiles Wanda drove a Supo Delecto Peniso Flagrante sports car, which, as its name implies, resembled a phallus and was capable of attaining a top speed of 160 miles per hour. The license plate bore the alphanumeric designation "FKU2". Sometimes, her auxiliary automobile, a
Rolls-Royce station wagon, followed.
Puss International Force Throughout her adventures, Wanda was also assisted by her elite army of "butch-dikes", the Puss International Force, or PIF, the commander of which was General German Grrrr, which is a play on renowned feminist
Germaine Greer.
Homer Sapiens and J. Hoover Grud A "resident egghead", Homer Sapiens, and the Neanderthal-like "chief jailer" and master torturer J. Hoover Grud (a reference to
FBI founder
J. Edgar Hoover) provided the brains and muscle needed to support Wanda's many adventures. Although Grud looked like a caveman, he was a sensitive intellectual who expressed his aspirations only to himself, never to others. Sapiens was a mad scientist and former
Nazi collaborator. Wanda called him "Eggbonce" ("bonce" is slang for head). Sapiens was a sadism masochist who enjoyed nothing better but a beating from Wanda, either as a reward or as a punishment, so either way he won.
Walter Von Kreesus The preserved cadaver of her degenerate father was seated upon a throne under a green glass dome. On occasion, Wanda sought advice from him after establishing a psychic or spiritual link with the corpse. During his lifetime, Candyfloss, Wanda's paramour, was one of the many women whom Walter kept as a mistress. The source of his great fortune that Wanda later inherited was
Grigori Rasputin, who in 1916 was attempting to lodge for safe keeping a large fortune in jewels in the Swiss bank that von Kreesus was working for. Rasputin's untimely death, however, left the large hoard in von Kreesus' possession. Needless to say, the bank heard no more from Herr von Kreesus. He then proceeded to increase his fortune still further through various underhand dealings, with amongst others,
Vladimir Lenin, to whom von Kreesus lent a train fare when the communist leader was on his way to a 3 April 1917
important meeting. ==Cultural and political allusions==