While attempting to make
Peter brush his teeth,
Lois hears a noise from downstairs and discovers
burglars have entered the house. The rest of the family awakens and flee to Peter's self-built
panic room in the attic and begin to monitor what the robbers are doing through hidden cameras. Due to the room not having a telephone or an inside door handle, they cannot escape, and Peter begins to tell stories about the history of the
Griffin family. The stories begin with the
Big Bang, and then moves to the
Paleolithic Age, where it is revealed that Peter's ancestor invented the
wheel. The second story sees another
Moses as a member of the Griffin family during the
Bronze Age leading the
Israelites to freedom and presenting the
Ten Commandments. The family soon discovers that Meg can fit through the vent, so they force Meg through the vent and into the kitchen. Peter uses a loud speaker to contact Meg from the panic room, therefore alerting the burglars to the fact that somebody is in the kitchen. In order to take the family's mind off Meg being captured, Peter tells the story of
Nate Griffin. Nate lived in the small
African village of Quahogsuana, but was captured by a
white version of
Cleveland Brown from
South Carolina and taken to
America aboard a
slave ship. He, along with
Quagdingo and
Joe Mama, prank the ship captain. While sleeping, they push his bed into the ocean. Nate is caught after briefly escaping and forced to work on a
plantation. He falls in love with the owner's daughter, Lois's relatives, Lois Laura Bush Lynne Cheney Pewterschmidt, and together, they bring up a secret family. After being discovered by his lover's father, the couple and their children escape with the help of
Al Cowlings, where Nate sets up the
Department of Motor Vehicles to "get back at the white man". After finishing the story, Peter carelessly aims a
flare gun through an air vent, causing the sprinklers to come on. Meanwhile, Meg is trying to persuade the burglars to
rape her but they are not interested. The rest of the family, still trapped in the panic room, are preparing to potentially drown from the sprinklers filling the room up with water. Peter tells the story of his ancestor, Willie "Black-Eye" Griffin, who was a
silent film star in the
Roaring Twenties, but whose career later faltered due to his voice (much like
Bobcat Goldthwait's) not being cut out for
talking pictures. Peter then tells his family about his great uncle, Peter Hitler, who was able to provide
Adolf Hitler with success at his
Munich speech, although annoying Adolf greatly. As the water from the sprinklers almost reaches its peak, Peter admits to the family that he did not care for
The Godfather and a heated debate ensues, ending with Peter declaring his love for
The Money Pit. At the last minute Joe rescues them, draining the water out of the room, thus saving their lives. Joe informs the family he has arrested the burglars, but they are pressing harassment charges against Meg. Joe warns that they will need a lawyer to combat the charges, but the family ignores him, and Joe finally gives up and takes Meg away while the family mistakes her being carried for being taken to a dance. ==Production==