(left) and
Rowlf the Dog (right) perform "An English Country Garden" in a 1978 episode guest starring
Elton John • "At the Dance" – The sketch was a regular during the first season but was used less frequently from the second season onward. Muppet characters (some of them being
Whatnots) circulated on a
semi-formal dance floor offering rapid fire one-liner jokes and come-backs as the couples passed in front of the camera. Debuted in
The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence, and played a large role in the plot for a season five episode. • "Bear on Patrol" –
Fozzie Bear is a luckless police officer named Patrol Bear and
Link Hogthrob is the incompetent
chief of police who are always in the silliest situations with the criminals brought in. The voice of the announcer was performed by
Jerry Nelson. Debuted in the third season. • "Blackouts" – Short, comic sketches with the show's guest star traditional to vaudeville that end with the lights turning off or a quick closing of the curtain. Only appeared in the first season. • "Cold Openings" – The Cold Openings appeared at the beginning of each episode and officially introduced the guest star. During the first season, Kermit introduced the guest star during the opening theme. His introduction was followed by a clip of the guest star, usually surrounded by a group of Muppets. Beginning in the second season, the Cold Openings appeared before the opening theme song.
Scooter visited the guest star in their dressing room, usually saying "Fifteen seconds to curtain". This was then followed by a brief joke. In the fifth season, the guest star entered the Muppet Theatre and was greeted by
Pops the Doorman. Pops always said, "Who are you?" as soon as he saw the guest star. After the guest star introduced themself to Pops, a joke would follow. • "An Editorial by Sam the Eagle" –
Sam the Eagle gives an editorial on a specific topic which ends up occurring during the editorial. Only appeared in the second season. • "The Electric Mayhem" – A variety of musical sketches featuring
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. • "Fozzie Bear's Act" – Fozzie Bear goes on stage and tells jokes. Statler and Waldorf heckle him in a perpetual rivalry. The sketches became less frequent as Fozzie's off-stage presence became more prevalent. In one first-season episode, however, Fozzie, with help from
Bruce Forsyth, turned the tables on Statler and Waldorf who waved a white flag in surrender. It mainly appeared during the first season, but made occasional appearances in later seasons. • "Gonzo's Stunts" – These sketches detail the stunts of
The Great Gonzo where something would usually go wrong. • "Muppet Labs" – Muppet Labs is "Where the future is being made today!" These segments featured the latest invention from
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew with his assistant
Beaker having the worst of its inevitable malfunction. During the first season, Honeydew hosted Muppet Labs by himself. The writers soon realised that another character was necessary to show his failings, which resulted in Beaker being introduced in season two (1977). • "Muppet Melodrama" – A sketch where
Uncle Deadly captured
Miss Piggy and put her in perilous plights to force her to marry him. Wayne would often have to be the one to save her. Only appeared in the third season. • "Muppet News Flash" –
The Muppet Newsman delivers a news brief about a bizarre incident or human-interest story. During the first season, these segments frequently had an interview with the episode's guest star, who portrayed a person connected to the story. Beginning with the second season, the Muppet Newsman almost invariably suffered some calamity associated with the story, such as being knocked out by a falling light fixture after he reported that the company manufacturing it had dropped production. • "Muppet Sports" – A sports sketch that features different sporting activities that are covered by Louis Kazagger. Debuted in the third season. • "Musical Chickens" – A flock of Muppet chickens pecked the keys of a piano and played a classic song to show off their musical talents. • "Panel Discussions" – A sketch where Kermit the Frog, the guest star and other Muppets discuss various topics. Only appeared in the first season. • "Pigs in Space" – Parody of science fiction programmes like
Star Trek, but also 1930s sci-fi serials. The spacecraft is called USS
Swinetrek and the title voice-over is a parody of
Lost in Space. It features Captain Link Hogthrob,
Dr. Julius Strangepork (the name a take-off on "
Dr. Strangelove"), and Miss Piggy as First Mate. Usually, the sketches involved the long-suffering Piggy putting up with Strangepork and Link treating her as an inferior because she is a female. The early sketches usually had introductions for all the characters, such as calling Link the "flappable captain", Miss Piggy the "flirtatious first mate", and referring to Dr. Strangepork as "describable". Strangepork usually had the most unusual description of the three during these introductions as he was the oddest member of the group. This portion of the introduction was dropped during season three, and the announcer simply claimed it was "time for...Piiiiiigs...iiiin...spaaaaaaace!" Debuted in the second season. • "Planet Koozebane" – A sketch about a planet containing strange alien lifeforms like the Koozebanian creatures, the Koozebanian Phoob, the Fazoobs, the Koozebanian Spooble, the Four Fazoobs and the Merdlidops. This was a common stop for the Swinetrek crew. • "A Poem by Rowlf" – Rowlf the Dog recited a classic poem while other Muppets interrupt him. Only appeared in the first season. • "Rowlf at the Piano" – Rowlf the Dog would sing classical songs and would occasionally be accompanied by the other Muppet characters. • "The Swedish Chef" – A
cooking show parody. It consists of the
Swedish Chef, who speaks mock
Swedish, semi-comprehensible
gibberish which parodies the characteristic vowel sounds and intonation of Swedish. He attempts to cook a dish with great enthusiasm until the punchline hits. A hallmark of these sketches was the improvisation between Jim Henson (who performed the Chef's head and voice) and
Frank Oz (who was his hands). One would often make something up on the spot, making the other puppeteer comply with the action. Famous gags include "chickie in du baskie" ("two points!"), Swedish meatballs that bounce, and smashing a cake with a baseball bat after it begins insulting the Chef in mock Japanese. Debuted in the pilot "
Sex and Violence". • "Talk Spots" – While sitting on a wall, Kermit the Frog talked to the guest star and was occasionally joined by the other Muppets. Mostly appeared during the first season, but made occasional appearances during the second season, and made two appearances in the third season (one of which had Sam the Eagle and the Swedish Chef in place of Kermit). • "Talking Houses" – A bunch of houses that tell jokes to each other. Only appeared during the first season. • "UK Spots" – Due to shorter commercial breaks in the United Kingdom, every episode of
The Muppet Show lasted two minutes longer in the UK than in the United States. The extra segments that were filmed to cover this time difference have been referred to as "UK Spots". Most of these consisted of a short song and never featured the guest star. • "Vendaface" – The Vendaface (voiced by
Jerry Nelson) is a vending machine that can give any Muppet a
facelift. Apparently, Vendaface was only meant to be used once, but David Lazer said that they should not build such an expensive puppet only to use it once. The writers then decided to have him on the show a few more times in the first season. The Vendaface later appeared in episode 318 as the Vendawish (voiced by
Jerry Nelson) which was a wish-granting machine. • "Veterinarian's Hospital" – Parody of the soap opera
General Hospital and other
medical dramas, this segment consists of Dr. Bob (played by Rowlf the Dog) cracking corny jokes in the operating room with Nurses Piggy and Janice, much to the bemusement of the frazzled patient. Each instalment ends with Dr. Bob and his nurses looking around in puzzlement as a disembodied announcer tells viewers to "tune in next time, when you'll hear Nurse Piggy / Dr. Bob / Nurse Janice say....", whereupon one of the three 'medics' will prompt a corny response from one of the others. On a number of occasions, the "Veterinarian's Hospital" sketch crossed over with the cast or set of another, such as "At the Dance" or "Pigs in Space". On one occasion, Dr. Bob was the patient while the guest star (
Christopher Reeve) played a doctor going to operate on Dr. Bob, and once Nurse Piggy was replaced (much to her chagrin) by guest star
Loretta Swit, parodying her Nurse Houlihan character from
M*A*S*H. In the first series, the announcement was usually performed by
John Lovelady, but
Jerry Nelson performed the role in both the
Harvey Korman and
Rita Moreno episodes, before taking over the role permanently from the
Phyllis Diller episode. In the introduction, Dr. Bob went from "a former
orthopedic surgeon" to "a quack" who has "gone to the dogs". • "Wayne and Wanda" – Each sketch had Wayne and Wanda singing a song, only to be interrupted by some sort of pun relating to a lyric. Sam the Eagle introduced these sketches, as he felt that they were among the few cultured aspects of the show. Only appeared during the first season, although a few new sketches appeared in later seasons with just Wayne. ==Episodes==