•
Biology: Presented jointly to Paul Williams Jr. of the Oregon State Health Division and Kenneth W. Newel of the
Liverpool School of Tropical Medicine, "bold biological detectives", for their pioneering study, "Salmonella Excretion in Joy-Riding Pigs". •
Chemistry: Presented jointly to James and Gaines Campbell of
Lookout Mountain, Tennessee, "dedicated deliverers of fragrance", for inventing scent strips, the odious method by which perfume is applied to magazine pages. •
Consumer Engineering: Presented to
Ron Popeil, incessant inventor and perpetual pitchman of
late night television, for redefining the industrial revolution with such devices as the
Veg-O-Matic, the Pocket Fisherman, Mr. Microphone, and the Inside-the-Shell Egg Scrambler. •
Economics: Presented to
Ravi Batra of
Southern Methodist University, shrewd economist and best-selling author of
The Great Depression of 1990 () and
Surviving the Great Depression of 1990, () for selling enough copies of his books to single-handedly prevent
worldwide economic collapse. •
Literature: Presented to T. Morrison, E. Topol, R. Califf, F. Van de Werf, P. W. Armstrong, and their 972 co-authors, for publishing a medical research paper which has one hundred times as many authors as pages. The authors are from the following countries: Australia,
Belgium, Canada, France, Germany, Ireland,
Israel,
Luxembourg, the
Netherlands,
New Zealand,
Poland, Spain,
Switzerland, the United Kingdom, and the United States. •
Mathematics: Presented to Robert W. Faid of
Greenville, South Carolina, "farsighted and faithful seer of statistics", for calculating the exact odds (710,609,175,188,282,000 to 1) that
Mikhail Gorbachev is the
Antichrist. •
Medicine: Presented to James F. Nolan, Thomas J. Stillwell, and John P. Sands, Jr., "medical men of mercy", for their painstaking research report, "Acute Management of the Zipper-Entrapped Penis". •
Peace: The
Pepsi-Cola Company of the Philippines, for sponsoring a
contest to create a millionaire, and then announcing the wrong winning number, thereby inciting and uniting 800,000 riotously expectant winners, and bringing many warring factions together for the first time in their nation's history. •
Physics: Presented to
Corentin Louis Kervran of France, "ardent admirer of
alchemy", for his conclusion that the calcium in chickens' eggshells is created by a process of
cold fusion. •
Psychology: Presented jointly to
John E. Mack of
Harvard Medical School and
David M. Jacobs of
Temple University, for their conclusion that people who believe they were
kidnapped by aliens from outer space probably were—and especially for their conclusion, "the focus of the abduction is the production of children". •
Visionary Technology: Presented jointly to Jay Schiffman of
Farmington Hills, Michigan, crack inventor of AutoVision, an image projection device that makes it possible to drive a car and watch television at the same time, and to the
Michigan State Legislature, for making it legal to do so. ==1994==