Diana first met
Charles, Prince of Wales, the Queen's eldest son and
heir apparent, when she was 16 in November 1977. He was then 29 and dating her older sister, Sarah. Charles and Diana were guests at a country weekend during the summer of 1980 and he took a serious interest in her as a potential bride. The relationship progressed when he invited her aboard the royal yacht
Britannia for a sailing weekend to
Cowes. This was followed by an invitation to
Balmoral Castle (the royal family's Scottish residence) to meet his family. She was well received by the Queen, the Queen Mother and
the Duke of Edinburgh. Charles subsequently courted Diana in London. He proposed on 6 February 1981 at
Windsor Castle, and she accepted, but their engagement was kept secret for two and a half weeks.
Engagement and wedding Their engagement became official on 24 February 1981. Diana selected
her own engagement ring. She subsequently resided at Buckingham Palace until the wedding, Diana was the first Englishwoman to marry the first in line to the throne since
Anne Hyde married James, Duke of York and Albany (later
James VII and II), over 300 years earlier, and she was also the first royal bride to have a paying job before her engagement. At the altar, Diana inadvertently reversed the order of his first two names, saying "Philip Charles" Arthur George instead. Diana
wore a dress valued at £9,000 () with a 25-foot (7.62-metre) train. Within a few years of the wedding, the Queen extended Diana visible tokens of membership in the royal family, lending her the
Queen Mary's Lover's Knot Tiara and granting her the badge of the
Royal Family Order of Elizabeth II.
Children The couple had residences at
Kensington Palace and
Highgrove House, near
Tetbury. On 5 November 1981, Diana's pregnancy was announced. In January 1982—12 weeks into the pregnancy—Diana fell down a staircase at Sandringham, suffering some bruising, and the royal
gynaecologist George Pinker was summoned from London; the
foetus was uninjured. Diana later confessed that she had intentionally thrown herself down the stairs because she was feeling "so inadequate". On 21 June 1982, she gave birth to the couple's first son,
Prince William. She subsequently suffered from
postpartum depression after her first pregnancy. Amidst some media criticism, she decided to take William—who was still a baby—on her first major tours of Australia and New Zealand, and the decision was popularly applauded. By her own admission, Diana had not initially intended to take William until Australian prime minister
Malcolm Fraser made the suggestion. A second son,
Harry, was born on 15 September 1984. Diana said she and Charles were closest during her pregnancy with Harry. She was aware their second child was a boy, but did not share the knowledge with anyone else, including Charles, who hoped for a girl. Diana gave her sons wider experiences than was usual for royal children. She rarely deferred to Charles or to the royal family, and was often intransigent when it came to the children. She chose their first given names, dismissed a royal family nanny and engaged one of her own choosing, selected their schools and clothing, planned their outings, and took them to school herself as often as her schedule permitted. She also organised her public duties around their timetables. Diana was reported to have described Harry as "naughty, just like me", and William as "my little wise old man" whom she started to rely on as her confidant by his early teens.
Problems and separation Five years into the marriage, the couple's incompatibility and age difference became visible and damaging. In 1986, Diana began a relationship with
James Hewitt, the family's former riding instructor and in the same year, Charles resumed his relationship with his former girlfriend
Camilla Parker Bowles. The media speculated that Hewitt, not Charles, was Harry's father based on the alleged physical similarity between Hewitt and Harry, but Hewitt and others have denied this. Harry was born two years before Diana and Hewitt met and began their affair. By 1987, cracks in the marriage had become visible and the couple's unhappiness and cold attitude towards one another were being reported by the press, who dubbed them "
the Glums" because of their evident discomfort in each other's company. In 1989, Diana was at a birthday party for Parker Bowles's sister,
Annabel Elliot, when she confronted Parker Bowles about her and Charles's extramarital affair. These affairs were later exposed in 1992 with the publication of
Andrew Morton's book,
Diana: Her True Story. The book, which also revealed Diana's allegedly suicidal unhappiness, caused a media storm. In 1991,
James Colthurst conducted secret interviews with Diana in which she had talked about her marital issues and difficulties. These recordings were later used as a source for Morton's book. During her lifetime, both Diana and Morton denied her direct involvement in the writing process and maintained that family and friends were the book's main source; however, after her death Morton acknowledged Diana's role in writing the tell-all in the book's updated edition,
Diana: Her True Story in Her Own Words. The Queen and Prince Philip hosted a meeting between Charles and Diana and unsuccessfully tried to reconcile the couple. Philip wrote to Diana and expressed his disappointment at the extramarital affairs of both her and Charles; he asked her to examine their behaviour from the other's point of view. Diana reportedly found the letters difficult, but nevertheless appreciated that he was acting with good intent. It was alleged by some people, including Diana's close friend Simone Simmons, that Diana and Philip had a tense relationship; however, other observers said their letters provided no sign of friction between them. Philip later issued a statement, publicly denying allegations of his insulting Diana. During 1992 and 1993, leaked tapes of telephone conversations reflected negatively on both Charles and Diana. Tape recordings of Diana and James Gilbey were made public in August 1992, and transcripts were published the same month in what became known as
Squidgygate. noting that "there is no reason why the Princess of Wales should not be
crowned queen in due course". Early the following year, the leaked
Tampongate tapes, which included intimate exchanges between Charles and Parker Bowles, were published in the
tabloids. , 1992 Between 1992 and 1993, Diana hired a voice coach,
Peter Settelen, to help her develop her public speaking voice. In a videotape recorded by Settelen in 1992, Diana said that from 1984 to 1986, she had been "deeply in love with someone who worked in this environment". It is thought she was referring to
Barry Mannakee, who was transferred to the Diplomatic Protection Squad in 1986 after his managers had determined that his relationship with Diana had been inappropriate. Diana said in the tape that Mannakee had been "chucked out" from his role as her bodyguard following suspicion that the two were having an affair. Diana's friends dismissed the claim as absurd. She also spoke bitterly of her husband saying that "[He] made me feel so inadequate in every possible way, that each time I came up for air he pushed me down again." Although she blamed Parker Bowles for her marital troubles, Diana began to believe her husband had been involved in other affairs. In October 1993 Diana wrote to her butler
Paul Burrell, telling him that she believed her husband was now in love with his personal assistant
Tiggy Legge-Bourke—who was also his sons' former nanny—and was planning to have her killed "to make the path clear for him to marry Tiggy". Legge-Bourke had been hired by Charles as a young companion for his sons while they were in his care, and Diana was resentful of Legge-Bourke and her relationship with the young princes. Charles sought public understanding via
a televised interview with
Jonathan Dimbleby on 29 June 1994. In the interview, he said he had rekindled his relationship with Parker Bowles in 1986 only after his marriage to Diana had "irretrievably broken down". In the same year, Diana's affair with Hewitt was exposed in detail in the book
Princess in Love by Anna Pasternak, with Hewitt acting as the main source. According to Hoare's obituary, there was little doubt she had been in a relationship with him. However, Diana denied any romantic relationship with Hoare, whom she described as a friend. She was also linked by the press to the rugby union player
Will Carling and private equity investor
Theodore J. Forstmann, yet these claims were neither confirmed nor proven. During this period Diana frequently dined at the Italian restaurant
San Lorenzo in Knightsbridge with her children, close friends, journalists and what her biographer
Tina Brown described as a "praetorian guard of distracting flirts". The restaurant became a focus for paparazzi photographers who stalked her.
Divorce The journalist
Martin Bashir interviewed Diana for the BBC current affairs show
Panorama. The interview was broadcast on 20 November 1995. Referring to Charles's relationship with Parker Bowles, she said: "Well, there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded." She also expressed doubt about her husband's suitability for kingship. The combination of illnesses from which Diana herself said she suffered resulted in some of her biographers opining that she had
borderline personality disorder.
Lord Dyson conducted an independent inquiry into the issue and concluded that Bashir had "little difficulty in playing on [Diana's] fears and
paranoia", a sentiment that was shared by Diana's son William. The interview proved to be the tipping point. On 20 December, Buckingham Palace announced that the Queen had sent letters to Charles and Diana, advising them to divorce. The Queen's move was backed by Prime Minister John Major and by senior
privy counsellors, and, according to the BBC, was decided after two weeks of talks. Charles formally agreed to the divorce in a written statement soon after. irritating Buckingham Palace by issuing her own announcement of the divorce agreement and its terms. In July 1996, the couple agreed on the terms of their divorce. Diana's private secretary
Patrick Jephson resigned shortly before the story broke, later writing that Diana had "exulted in accusing Legge-Bourke of having had an abortion". The rumours of Legge-Bourke's alleged abortion were apparently spread by Martin Bashir as a means to gain his
Panorama interview with Diana. The
decree nisi was granted on 15 July 1996 and the divorce was finalised on 28 August 1996. Diana was represented by
Anthony Julius in the case. The couple shared custody of their children. She received a lump sum settlement of £17million (equivalent to £million in ) as well as £400,000 per year. The couple signed a confidentiality agreement that prohibited them from discussing the details of the divorce or of their married life. The Queen reportedly wanted to let Diana continue to use the style of Royal Highness after her divorce, but Charles had insisted on removing it. Almost a year before, according to Tina Brown, Philip had warned Diana: "If you don't behave, my girl, we'll take your title away." She is said to have replied: "My title is a lot older than yours, Philip."
Post-divorce After her divorce, Diana retained the double apartment on the north side of Kensington Palace that she had shared with Charles since the first year of their marriage; the apartment remained her home until her death the following year. She also moved her offices to Kensington Palace but was permitted "to use the state apartments at St James's Palace". In a book published in 2003, Paul Burrell claimed Diana's private letters had revealed that her brother, Lord Spencer, had refused to allow her to live at Althorp, despite her request. However, he could not offer Garden House cottage on the Althorp estate to Diana as the home was intended for a member of staff. Furthermore, she continued to have access to the jewellery that she had received during her marriage, and was allowed to use the
air transport of the British royal family and government. After her death, it was revealed that Diana had been in discussion with Major's successor,
Tony Blair, about a special role that would provide a government platform for her campaigns and charities to make her capable of endorsing Britain's interests overseas. Diana retained close friendships with several celebrities, including
Elton John,
Liza Minnelli,
George Michael,
Michael Jackson, and
Gianni Versace, whose
funeral she attended in 1997. She dated the
British-Pakistani heart surgeon
Hasnat Khan, who was called "the love of her life" by many of her closest friends after her death, and she is said to have described him as "Mr. Wonderful". In May 1996, Diana visited
Lahore upon invitation of
Imran Khan, a relative of Hasnat Khan, and visited the latter's family in secret. She is said to have spoken of her distress when he ended their relationship. Burrell also said the relationship was ended by Diana in July 1997. Burrell also claimed that Diana's mother, Frances Shand Kydd, disapproved of her daughter's relationship with a Muslim man. By the time of Diana's death in 1997, she had not spoken to her mother in four months. By contrast, her relationship with her estranged stepmother had reportedly improved. Within a month, Diana began a relationship with
Dodi Fayed, the son of her summer host,
Mohamed Al-Fayed. That summer, Diana had considered taking her sons on a holiday to
the Hamptons on
Long Island, New York, but security officials had prevented it. After deciding against a trip to Thailand, she accepted Fayed's invitation to join his family in the south of France, where his compound and large security detail would not cause concern to the Royal Protection squad. Mohamed Al-Fayed bought the
Jonikal, a 60-metre multimillion-pound yacht on which to entertain Diana and her sons. Tina Brown later claimed that Diana's romance with Fayed and her four-month relationship with
Gulu Lalvani were a ploy "to inflame the true object of her affections, Hasnat Khan". ==Princess of Wales==