Bat Boy Bat Boy was first featured in a 1992 issue after being found in a cave in
West Virginia (
Lost World Caverns). He has since led police on a high-speed chase, fought in the war on terror, led the troops to capture
Saddam Hussein, bitten
Santa Claus, and traveled into outer space. In 2000, he gave his endorsement to
Al Gore. It was foretold that Bat Boy would become president in 2028. The story of Bat Boy was the basis for an acclaimed off-Broadway musical,
Bat Boy: The Musical, in which Bat Boy meets a tragic end. In addition to articles, Bat Boy has been featured in a
comic strip since 2004, though it is said that only the articles are the "true" story of Bat Boy.
Page 5 Honey Each week a different model was featured on page 5 and on the back page. She was usually wearing a
bikini and a description of her was printed. This feature ended after the Halloween issue of 2006.
"ALIVE!" One of the many other recurring subjects was the occasional "ALIVE!" cover story. Most often the story pertained to some sort of creature such as a mummy, prehistoric creature, or, occasionally, a human who had been frozen in a block of ice (e.g.
Santa Claus). Another subject often tackled by
WWN is the reemergence of many prominent figures believed to be deceased, including
Hank Williams,
Marilyn Monroe,
John F. Kennedy,
Adolf Hitler, and
Michael Jackson. Survivors of the Titanic and Hindenburg were also occasionally featured. Among the most frequently printed reports were those asserting that "Elvis is alive." The
WWN frequently reported Elvis sightings with a series of articles claiming that
Elvis Presley had faked his death and had recently emerged from years of seclusion to prepare for a comeback. Obviously altered photos purported to show a gray-haired, balding Elvis sneaking into a movie theater and coming out of a
Burger King restaurant. When the
U.S. Postal Service conducted a poll to determine the design of the Elvis
commemorative postage stamp, the
WWN conducted its own poll pitting the USPS's 1950s Elvis and 1970s Elvis versus its own, 1990s Elvis; the elderly Elvis won. In 1994, the newspaper ran a front cover with the headline "Elvis Presley Dead!", stating that Presley was now "really dead" from heart failure after slipping into a diabetic coma. In a 2004
Washington Post article on Clontz's death, humorist
Gene Weingarten claimed that he and
Dave Barry were the sources of the story. According to Weingarten, the
WWN later reported that claims of Presley's (belated) death had been a hoax. In an earlier telling of his story, Weingarten varied some details.
The World's Fattest... Numerous stories regarding shockingly obese people made the pages of
WWN, the most popular of which was Roland Gillespie, the world's fattest man. After Roland was first discovered,
WWN encouraged readers to send in their guesses as to exactly how much they believed Roland weighed. Weighing in at over 576.2 lbs., Roland was featured being weighed and measured and the crew was possibly sat on, by the world's fattest man. Later stories involved Rolands attempts to lose weight through the OMAD diet, his struggle with near fatal obesity, and claims that he ate his family. Other stories featured the exploits of the world's fattest couple at the gym, the world's fattest baby, and even a similar weight-guessing contest featuring the world's fattest dog. One continuing story featured a morbidly obese man named Buster Simcus who had lost so much weight that it left 80 pounds of loose skin hanging off his body that he was planning to have surgically removed. By the next story, he had regained the weight, severely damaging his scars.
Upcoming economic depressions WWN covered stories that featured analysis of a coming
Great Depression in the immediate future in which many prominent celebrities, politicians, and icons of business would become penniless. The cover story of the June 6, 2005, issue warned that the second Great Depression was "just weeks away." Because of this, Texas oil tycoons were planning to flee to
Luxembourg, the only country to survive this economic crash. Consequences of this depression would include mass starvation, a disease epidemic, mobs of looters and a return to pagan religions and
Satanism.
Religion and Biblical relics Another typical
Weekly World News topic was new Bible-related findings, including relics from
Noah's Ark, the
Garden of Eden (claimed by the tabloid to be in
Colorado), the discovery of additional commandments from God, and sandals worn by Jesus. The magazine also reported on when
Jesus will return to Earth, and held an interview with
Sisyphus when he finished his eternal boulder-hauling "workout." Other stories stated that natural disasters such as
earthquakes and human economic activity like
drilling for oil have opened up gates and portals to
Hell from which demons have escaped to wreak havoc upon the earth. A story shortly after
September 11, 2001 showed the face of
Satan appearing in a cloud of dust caused by the
collapse of the World Trade Center. Similar stories, wherein Satan's face had appeared in a thunderstorm, had appeared before.
Terrorism Following the terrorist attack on September 11, 2001,
WWN featured articles about plans for future terrorist attacks on the United States of America. A 2004 cover story described plans by
Kim Jong-il to eventually invade and conquer the United States. Other stories featured profiles on the location and nature of Iraq's
weapons of mass destruction, including the news that Saddam Hussein had an arsenal of giant slingshots, the missing link, and
dinosaurs. In 2003, a series of articles profiled the ongoing relationship between and eventual marriage of
Saddam Hussein and
Osama bin Laden. Other stories have made claims that Bin Laden was actually a
dwarf, that he recruited a
cloned Adolf Hitler to join
Al Qaeda, and that he was in fact dead, long before his actual death and that the CIA was keeping it a secret. After his being captured by Bat Boy, Saddam was humiliated by female prison guards, won the United States lottery, and even demanded that the government pay for his
sex change operation.
Presidency WWN has often been the home to political satire regarding current and past presidential administrations. The magazine reported that the founding fathers were all
gay and that
George Washington and
Abraham Lincoln were actually women. According to the paper, President Lincoln was insane, and his ghost had also been spotted in the
White House giving President
George W. Bush advice on the war in Iraq. Stories about President George W. Bush capitalized on the public's
perception that he lacked intelligence. The paper chronicled his plans to run for pope, his love affair with
Janet Reno, and his intention to nominate
Yoda as secretary of defense. The June 21, 2004, issue stated that Vice President
Dick Cheney was actually a
robot and that his frequent trips to the hospital allowed him to rewire his circuits.
Aliens Aliens are another subject frequently tackled by
WWN.
Weekly World News blamed these creatures for holes in the ozone. A
Roswell crash survivor, "Altair Bob," made contact with
WWN via telepathic e-mail. Several factions of extraterrestrials have been using the moon to dump garbage. Martians have been monitoring the Mideast crisis. Warrior aliens have been resurrecting the dead, fighting
Bigfoot, and training in a mock U.S. town hidden in Antarctica. San Franciscans have opened their hearts to immigrants from Mercury. One such alien, named P'Lod, who made several appearances in
WWN, has been known to fraternize with known women of politics. It was reported that he and
Hillary Clinton once had a close relationship that ended up in a brawl between him and President
Bill Clinton, who went on a jealous rage. After P'Lod left Hillary Clinton, he expressed a lot of interest in
Condoleezza Rice. A June 15, 1993 cover announced Hillary Clinton's adoption of an alien baby. In the June 7, 1994, edition,
WWN reported that 12 U.S. senators were aliens from other planets. In response, several senators or their spokespersons humorously "confirmed" the story. One,
William S. Cohen of Maine, told the mainstream press, "It is preferable to be a space alien than a
space cadet." In the August 11, 1998, edition,
WWN reported that autograph dealer Steve Koschal offered to pay $1 million for anything signed by an alien. Koschal said he would pay the million dollars to anyone who had a signed letter or signed photograph or anything signed by a visitor from outer space. "Hundreds of people claim to have been abducted and taken aboard UFOs and yet there's not a single verifiable signature of an extraterrestrial being anywhere on Earth," said Koschal in an exclusive interview. "Someone out there must have asked one of these creatures for an autograph," continued Koschal. "If not, someone will in the future. When they do, I want to be the first collector to acquire it." The subject of space aliens endorsing U.S. presidential candidates in various elections was also a recurring topic. During the
2000 U.S. presidential election, then-candidate George W. Bush posed for photographers with a
Weekly World News issue opened to the article reading, "Space Alien Backs Bush for President!".
Cryptids Cryptids and half-animal half-human hybrids are another frequent topic of
Weekly World News. Creatures such as Bigfoot, merpeople, real-life catwomen, half-
alligator half-humans, frog babies, kangaroo women, and many other creatures have taken the world by storm on various covers (e.g.
Abominable Beachman strikes terror in Hawaii! and
Bigfoot Steals Race Car!!!!) including the aforementioned 'Bat Boy'.
Merfolk The existence of
mermen and
mermaids is also frequently reported in the pages of the
Weekly World News. One detailed article of the
Weekly World News recounted a mermaid being caught in a fishing net off the coast of
Florida on April 17, 2004. According to the article, she was at least half human, half fish, very sociable, and extremely intelligent; and was able to talk in a sophisticated "three dimensional language" that depends heavily on noises that could possibly be connected to the "click languages" prevalent in parts of Africa and on hand movements that look like
sign language. Similar to their female counterparts, mermen are found within the pages of the
Weekly World News. On June 17, 2003, a merman was reported to have been caught in the South Pacific ocean, this one measuring only 28 inches. ==Stories taken as legitimate==